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  1. Jared says:

    One laments that the late Henry I did not avail himself of so auspicious a discount.

    As Mr. Spurlock so ably demonstrated, restaurants too often encourage us to upgrade every order. Consider these all too typical lamprey options:

    Surfeit. Ten lampreys with a touch of bacteria. (Best value!)
    Indulgence. Seven lampreys, chips, and a votive candle. Ideal for meatless Fridays.
    Plenitude. Our classic four lamprey pie.
    Satiety. Our most popular option, zero lampreys with a side of steak.

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