Sir: This morning I slipped as I was walking down the stairs. However, I grasped the rail with my hand, and did not fall to the bottom.

Is any further proof needed that this so-called “gravity” is a myth, foisted on us by university intellectuals to gain lucrative professorships and publishing contracts sponsored by Big Gravity? And we can see why, when the whole edifice of “physics,” by which the universe is asserted to be billions of years old, rests upon “gravity” as its foundation. Were it not for the tragic consequences of this deception, it would be almost laughable. Who, after all, would believe that the universe we see around us today began billions of years ago? My own research into ancient texts indicates that the universe dates back to the Truman administration at the very earliest.

Yet the ridiculous fable of “gravity,” which leads to such absurdities, is taught as fact to our children in the public schools. What has happened to our liberties? Who are these self-appointed “educators” who ensnare our youth with their tales of “Isaac Newton”? Under a democratic government, should not the fundamental principles of science be determined by referendum?

I have written my state representative a strongly worded letter on this subject, and I urge all your readers to do the same. I would also have called her office, but the number she gave me after my speech at the last community meeting was 555-1212, which appears to be incorrect. I suspect she may have accidentally transposed some of the digits.

Worthington Pomfret IV,
Sewickley Heights 


  1. Jared says:

    In the words of a popular email forward that circulates freely among such classes of citizen which bombard legislators with their every flight of fancy —

    An update from Oklahoma :
    Oklahoma law passed, 37 to 9, had a few liberals in the mix, an amendment to nullify the law of gravity. The scientific elite said it would be a mistake. Hey, this is a conservative state, based on Aristotelian physics…!

    Guess what…?

    Oklahoma did it anyway!

    Oklahoma recently passed a law in the state to incarcerate all perpetrators of the round earth hoax, and ship them back to the four corners of the earth where dragons reside. They all scattered. Hope we didn’t send any of them to your state. This was against the advice of the Federal Government, and the ACLU said it would be a mistake.

    Guess what…?

    Oklahoma did it anyway!

    Recently, we repealed the First Law of Thermodynamics. Pelosi said it violated the laws of the universe, but we see those as a threat to our sovereignty.

    Guess what…?

    Oklahoma did it anyway!

    Several weeks ago, we passed a law, declaring Oklahoma as a Sovereign state, not subject to the laws of physics. Joining Texas, Montana, and Utah as the only states to do so. More states are likely to follow: Louisiana, Alabama, Georgia, the Carolinas, Tennessee, Kentucky, Missouri, Arkansas, West Virginia, Mississippi, and Florida. Save your Confederate money, it appears the South is about to rise up once again – with no gravity or equal and opposite forces to stop us!

    The universe has taken bold steps to impose relativity on us. Oklahoma, a week ago, passed a law confirming that absolutes exist, and that they are called the Laws of Oklahoma. I’m sure that was a setback for the Skinnerites. Liberals didn’t like it –But …

    Guess what…?

    Oklahoma did it anyway!.

    By the way, Obama does not like any of this.

    Guess what …? who cares???

    Oklahoma is doing it anyway!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *