TO AVOID RISK of suffocation, remember to breathe while reading this Magazine.
Do not read this Magazine under water without approved breathing equipment.
Do not operate motor vehicles or heavy machinery while reading this Magazine.
Do not make use of the comment feature while under the influence of drugs or alcohol.
Do not hit yourself on the head repeatedly with a mallet while reading this Magazine. Once will usually suffice.
Do not start an argument about any controversial subject mentioned in this Magazine with anyone who is visibly larger or better armed than you are.
Always remember, safety first. If you are in any doubt, do not read this Magazine at all.