Dear Dr. Boli: In a catalogue of scented soaps, I came across a scent called “Lost Forest.” How does one lose a forest? And what does it smell like? That’s what I want to know. —Sincerely, Dr. Mitthew “Mitt” Bramble, Professor of Forestry, Duck Hollow University School of Agriculture.

Dear Sir: Dr. Boli lost a forest once. It was right over there in the woods behind the house, but when he looked for it again it was gone. He has combed the woods for it to no avail. Perhaps it was stolen rather than lost in the strict sense. As for what a lost forest smells like, one would have to find it before one could smell it, and then it would not be lost anymore. So you can see that the question is unanswerable.