Dear Dr. Boli: All my friends have tattoos, so I want to get one myself. But I can’t decide on a subject for my tattoo. What would you suggest? —Sincerely, The Only Woman with Unmarked Skin in My Dormitory.

Dear Madam: If you really are set on getting a tattoo, Dr. Boli would suggest a slogan, in script as elaborate as you like, that would go something like this: “My fashion sense is so entirely infallible that I can be certain the choices I make now will not embarrass me thirty years in the future.” There is no point in resorting to metaphor or allegory when the true message of your tattoo may be stated so clearly that anyone who sees it will understand it.