Sir:

The advertisement you carried yesterday for the Dumont Network’s new program, Ineffable or Unspeakable?, was a slap in the faces of the sizable minority of good and ordinary American citizens who, through no fault of their own, have glowing yellow hoops floating over their heads. It is bad enough that we have to endure the jeers and innuendos of the lowest ranks of society every time we walk down the street, without having a prominent broadcasting network reinforcing the ridiculous stereotypes we persons with hoopheadedness have spent so long trying to erase from the public consciousness. How would you like it if everywhere you went people asked if you were a saint or an angel, and you had to deny it a dozen times every day? It is bruising to the ego, to say the least. The Dumont Network should be ashamed of itself for approving this advertisement, and I would seriously consider boycotting their stupid game show if there were anything else worth watching in that time slot.

Sincerely,
Gabriel St. John Raphael,
Schenley Farms