A series of helpful suggestions for actions you can take that will bring the downfall of the establishment a little bit closer.

No. 4. “HATING” stickers. One of the most efficacious methods of bringing about the downfall of the establishment is to equip yourself with a large supply of stickers that say “HATING” in large white letters on a red background.

What good will that do? you ask. Ah, but this is the clever part: you will affix those stickers to stop signs all over the city, neatly centered under the word “STOP,” so that the signs will now read “STOP HATING.” The entire military-industrial complex will be confounded by your apt repurposing of already-ubiquitous signage. Thousands of drivers will see the new message, and their minds will be awakened for the first time. They will realize that it is their hatred of the Other that has kept them in chains. When people stop hating, war will cease to be profitable; and, as war is the engine that drives the machinery of oppression, the masses will at last be liberated. Starvation will be unknown; crime will wither away to nothing; and beer will be free at Primanti’s every Saturday afternoon.


  1. Jared says:

    It is well known that such signage only requires you to stop for a decent interval. Similarly, if confronted with a “stop hating” sign, I would only stop hating momentarily or, if in a hurry, might even try to get away with a rolling stop hating. In fact, long stretches of the Hundred Years’ War can be understood as just that.

    • I bow to you, sir, for that was an excellent reply!

      Here in Chicago, I’ve never seen one of those “HATING” stickers on a stop sign. Instead, I’ve seen hundreds of similar signs that read “This Endless War”, and the sheer philsophical chutzpah needed to urge all and sundry to stop something openly acknowledged as endless astonishes me and warms the cockles of the heart. It reminds me of the lapel buttons one used to see in geek circles that read “Reversing Entropy is Everybody’s Business”.

      Of course, some otherwise well-meaning fools are unclear on the concept behind such sentence-fragment stickers, and place them directly on the bumpers of their cars like any other bumper sticker. Whether we are supposed to read the brake lights as playing the role of stop sign, or these people are merely so confused that they think “This Endless War” is some sort of indie-rock band name (and it would indeed make a good name for a band), I do not know.

      Speaking of indie-rock band names, so many stickers that clearly are of the names of bands or independent record labels are also slapped on the back or front of various street signs, light poles, mailboxes, and public trash receptacles in our fair city, that one would think we were overrun by warring factions, not of drug-dealing street gangs, but of militant music afficionados. And in certain neighborhoods, one would probably be right. Some of these stickers are indeed placed below the word Stop on red octagonal signs, leading one to further believe that they have been placed there so as to turn the ubiquitous stop sign into the rough equivalent of those clear vinyl stickers of Calvin peeing on Ford or Chevy logos one sees in the back windows of opposite-branded pickup trucks, the sort that seem to be saying, “I am militant about brand loyalty, AND I have a gun rack.”

      Perhaps the next installment of Dr. Boli’s series of intellectual bumper stickers could include one of the theologian Calvin peeing on the logos of church denominations that are not sufficiently enthusiastic about the idea of predestination.

      • Jared says:

        I take it that you are not familiar with the Two Seed-in-the-Spirit Baptists, then.

        Also, the world would be a better place if the names of indie rock bands were affixed beneath the standard wording of those red octagonal signs; at a minimum, the signs would become expressive of the views of the better part of the citizenry.

        Finally, for those of us not given to subtlety, one can only hope that an “I am militant about brand loyalty AND I have a gun rack” bumper sticker is forthcoming. Such a motto shall, I trust, demonstrate that I am not one to be trifled with, which is an impression I should like to foster before the militant music aficionados turn our streets into a war zone.

  2. Dr. Bjorn Bjornsen says:

    Did somebody say “free beer”???

  3. Daniel Allen says:

    How would this work on a Japanese STOP sign?

  4. John M says:

    This reminds me of the old Tom Lehrer Song “Folk Song Army” about folks singers’ ability to solve the world’s problems:

    “Remember the war against Franco
    That’s the kind where each of us belongs.
    Though they may have won all the battles –
    We had all the good songs!”

  5. The problem with the establishment is that it stops people from doing things, wherefore I suggest that you could modify stop signs to read “STOP STOPPING” That would get your point across and make driving much faster at the same time.

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