ARTIST RUPERT SLACKSTRIPE, who painted Cirencester beige, has been arrested on charges of simple assault after he attempted to apply spray-paint to five visitors to the Duck Hollow Museum of Art. Through a spokesman, Slackstripe described the charges as “a triumph of philistinism.” The spokesman said that the spray-painting was part of a work of art entitled To the Nth Degree, which requires unwilling participants to make its point. The misdemeanor assault charges represent a significant stylistic departure for Slackstripe, most of whose previous works have been felonies.


  1. If his art continues to evolve in this direction, soon he will be merely subject to civil liabilities and avoid criminal charges altogether. By which point, the art world will doubtless no longer consider him one of the avant garde, but rather as a hopelessly-out-of-touch member of the establishment, doomed to merely wait for death and the resulting leap in the valuation of his unsold works.

    Because that’s the only way he’ll ever pay off all those civil-suit judgements, of course.

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