ACCORDING TO THE omniscient Wikipedia, the Roman emperor Heliogabalus or Elegabalus, who was eighteen years old when he was assassinated, “employed a prototype of whoopee cushions at dinner parties.” This is why we do not place teenagers in positions of authority.


  1. Do you mean in positions of power as Emperors, or as Wikipedia editors? Because as everyone knows, the first user of the Whoopee Cushion was Emperor Commodus, not this idiot. Hence the etymological origin of the word “Comedy” in his name. And also “Commode”, showing the longstanding link between the messier bodily functions and the higher forms of humor. Further evidence of this connection can be found, naturally, in the fact that the word “Humor” (or humour, for our cousins across the pond), can be applied either to a bit of comedy, or to the noxious fumes arising from, well, a commode.

  2. jason taylor says:

    Charles XII didn’t do so bad. He could have done better but he was no Commodus.

  3. John M says:

    One wonders whether the Emperor’s deployment of the whoopee cushion progenitor was a causal factor in his demise.

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