Dumont Network: Harsh Words (crime drama). The hit Dumont drama that pairs a by-the-book cop with a cold but beautiful forensic etymologist. Tonight: Dr. Skeat is called in to Old Town after a series of brutal murders of shopkeepers, in which the only clue is that someone has crossed off the final E in “Olde” and “Towne” on all their signs.

The Brimstone Channel: The Jesus Show, with the Reverend Bob-Bob Lee (religion). Tonight: How to fit a camel through the eye of a needle in three easy steps.

Northern Broadcasting System: Chug (drama). In this new dark retelling of the Little Engine That Could story, a half-crippled old steam locomotive is obsessed with conquering the monstrous snow-capped mountain that blew out one of his piston rods, a mountain that symbolically represents all the unanswerable questions of life.

MetromediaAl ’n’ Me (comedy). The wacky adventures of best buddies Alexander and Hephaestion as they look for new worlds to conquer. Tonight: Al is laid off from his job as Emperor of the World and has to go to work at a fast-food joint where Hephaestion is a regular customer.

Golf NetworkThe Golf Show (golf). Tonight: A special musical episode.

The Women’s Channel: TV for Women (women). 24-hour programming representing male programming executives’ latest theories on what women really want to watch.

Wolf Broadcasting CorporationFries with That (reality). The hot reality show that takes ten new college graduates, puts them in dead-end jobs, and leaves them there forever. Tonight: With a tip jar containing $23 and three baristas dividing it among them, Travis begins to think he should have paid attention in math class.

The Lawnmower ChannelIndoor Mowing (documentary). How you can devote two or three rooms of your house to grass for mowing fun all year round.

Science CentralThe Mysteries of Space (documentary). Tonight: Scientists and philosophers tackle the unsolved problem of why there is never any more space in the linen closet no matter how many towels you throw away.


  1. Clay Potts says:

    The Lawnmower Channel: Feature Presentation, “Indoor Lawns, How to bring nature into your home while keeping Fido from bringing nature to your indoor lawn.”

    Next week’s presentation, “Indoor Lawns, bag or not to bag, the hidden benefits of mulching your indoor grass clippings.”

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