COMMON METHODS OF DIVINATION.

Knowing the future has been a tantalizing but elusive goal since the dawn of humanity, and magicians and soothsayers have made use of many different forms of divination in their attempts to predict what will happen tomorrow:

Cartomancy, by means of cards.

Necromancy, by means of the spirits of the dead.

Neccomancy, by means of the cracks in Necco wafers.

Vexillomancy, by means of the flutterings of flags raised for the purpose.

Satsumancy, by means of the relative sizes and shapes of the segments of a Satsuma mandarin.

Massagallinariomancy, by means of the distribution of fried chicken nuggets spilled from a bag.

Nancymancy, by means of the comic strips of Ernie Bushmiller.

Fistulomancy, by means of plumbing noises in an old house.

Commentatoriomancy, by means of the writings of pundits in the newspaper.

Crastinomancy, by means of waiting for tomorrow to come.

Comments

  1. It goes down and around and it comes out here.

  2. Clay Potts says:

    Clancymancy: state military secrets revealed by means of the dime store novel.

    Fancypantymancy: by means of reading the bold weaves and patterns of the latest French Fashions.

  3. John M says:

    The secret to Commentatoriomancy is to gather all the wise sayings of the Very Serious People, determine what they feel is the most likely future, and assume the opposite is true.

  4. Clay Potts says:

    Dear Dr. Boli,

    Edit requested – please correct above spelling to read, “FancypantCymancy” (pantcy with a “c”) -to avoid any unintended revealing of any said under-cover French fashions.

    Thank you, Clay Blushings Potts

  5. C. Simon says:

    Now that’s a relief! I though “necromancy” was buying the dead roses and chocolates.

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