The Dormont Medical Association’s Walk to Cure AIDS, previously scheduled for this coming Saturday, has been canceled. Last Saturday’s Walk to Cure Brain Cancer was well attended, and yet there is still brain cancer. Nor will we speak of the miserable failure of our Walk to Cure the Common Cold, which seemed so promising at the time. In fact, not a single one of our walks has cured the disease it targeted. We are beginning to harbor suspicions as to whether walking is effectual at all in the treatment and prevention of these diseases. Even stronger measures may be necessary, and we have reluctantly concluded that it is best to focus our efforts on giving some sort of financial support to medical research. The General Committee will meet to discuss this new approach Thursday evening at 7 p.m., and members are asked to bring ideas for fundraising activities.


  1. Martha says:

    But how can this be? Regardless of the ailment with which I visit a doctor, the advice I am given is “Take more exercise – start walking”. Muscle pains, flu, skin rashes, ladies’ problems – walking is the remedy recommended to me!

    If walking is not a universal panacea, then does this mean the entire edifice of the medical profession has been constructed on a false foundation?

  2. Erastus O. Haven says:

    … is still brain cancer. Nor will we speak …

    Suggest amend copy as follows before evening edition:

    … is still brain cancer. We will not speak …


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