MR. AND MRS. MILLENNIUM,

The Family of the Future.

ANNOUNCER. Brenneman’s Condensed Lard, the scientific health food of tomorrow that you can eat today, presents…

(Music: Fanfare.)

ANNOUNCER. Mr. and Mrs. Millennium, the Family of the Future!

(Music: Theme, in and under for…)

ANNOUNCER. The story of an ordinary American couple living an ordinary American life in the fantastic year 2001!

(Music: Theme, in full and fade for…)

ANNOUNCER. Today, as we drop in on the Millenniums, Mrs. Millennium is just about to make dinner for the family when Mr. Millennium walks in, home from his job at the videophone plant.

(Sound: Door closing.)

MR. M (distant). Joan! I’m home!

MRS. M. I’m in the computer room, John, just starting dinner. What kept you? You’re thirty-eight seconds late.

MR. M. (approaching). I know. Traffic was backed up something fierce over Sioux Falls. I had to detour by way of Pensacola. When’s dinner? I hope you’re using plenty of Brenneman’s Condensed Lard, whatever you’re making.

MRS. M. Well, of course I am. I wouldn’t leave out everyone’s favorite part of the meal! It’ll just be a few minutes. I’m having a little trouble with the broccoli subroutine.

MR. M. Well, I’m sure you’ll have it worked out in no time. After all, this new computer is miles ahead of the old one.

MRS. M. Yes, I like the teletype interface much better than switches. And FORTRAN makes it so easy to use!

MR. M. It makes you wonder how we ever got along without it, doesn’t it? Well, I’m going to take an electrobath before dinner, so I’ll be back down in about three minutes.

MRS. M. Oh, John, before you go, there’s something I’ve been meaning to talk to you about…

MR. M. Of course, darling. What is it?

MRS. M. Well, you know how we’ve sometimes talked about—you know—having a child of our own someday?

MR. M. Yes, we’ve talked about it often.

MRS. M. Well, the Sears catalogue came today, and they have some very reasonably priced new models.

MR. M (laughing). Oh, they have, have they?

MRS. M. Do you think we could, John? I know it might mean putting off that new Packard autogyro we’ve been talking about, but…

MR. M. Well, dear, I think we can manage it.

MRS. M. Oh, John!

(Sound: Kiss.)

MRS. M. Oh, here I am, and I haven’t even done anything to my subroutine for dinner! Well, that’s all right. I’ll just put this frozen dinner into the atomic oven.

MR. M. Aren’t you setting that a little high?

MRS. M. Now, darling, don’t tell me I don’t know my way around the kitchen!

(Sound: Explosion.)

(Music: Theme, in and under for…)

ANNOUNCER. John and Joan will be back with us for next week’s episode, “Picking Up the Pieces.” Meanwhile, here’s a word for every American of today who likes good food and good health. Did you know that you can eat Brenneman’s Condensed Lard right out of the package? Every bite is a double dose of healthful lardy goodness. Just like your car, your body needs regular lubrication to run smoothly and efficiently. Brenneman’s Condensed Lard lubricates the arteries and promotes regular blood flow to the brain, making you more intelligent than your neighbors. Brenneman’s Condensed Lard—it’s the scientific health food of tomorrow that you can eat today!

(Music: In full, then out.)