Budget cuts in the mental-health system have forced Community Mental Health Services to close the Blandville office and move staff to Germany. A statement from the organization recommends that former patients think happy thoughts and avoid doing anything stupid.

A number of Mexicans have been observed opening a grocery on Bland Street and selling fresh produce and tacos from a stand in front of the building. Your neighborhood watch suspects them of being terrorists and recommends increased vigilance.

St. Britney Church will be holding its annual Trash and Treasures Sale the first Saturday in November, and is now accepting donations. We are always grateful to donors, but last year a number of you took the first half of the name a little too literally, and we would like to remind you that regular garbage collection happens every week on Thursday morning.

The Port Authority has asked us to remind all residents that the safety islands on Bland Street are for the use of passengers waiting for the Red Line car, not for performance art. There is a perfectly good coffeehouse in Blandville, and there is no need to inconvenience riders.


  1. Clay Potts says:

    Dear Blandville Community Mental Health Services,

    My parents raised me to patiently think stupid thoughts and avoid doing anything happy, and I resent your organization’s attempt to contradict Mommy & Daddy’s good judgement!


    Alone and Locked for Days in the Men’s Room of the Now Closed Blandville Community Mental Health Services Office.

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