Dumont Network: Harsh Words (crime drama). The hit Dumont drama that pairs a by-the-book cop with a cold but beautiful forensic etymologist. Tonight: A shopkeeper in Dr. Skeat’s block is found murdered after egregiously misusing the apostrophe, and Dr. Skeat herself is detained as a suspect.

The Brimstone Channel: The Jesus Show, with the Reverend Bob-Bob Lee (religion). Tonight: Why Jesus hates capital-gains taxes.

Northern Broadcasting System: Giggles and Sins (crime drama). The hit drama that pairs a by-the-book cop with an architectural-historian clown. Tonight: When a notorious pigeon-hater is killed by the falling head of a telamon on the Park Building, Bozar suspects fowl play.

MetromediaAl ’n’ Me (comedy). The wacky adventures of best buddies Alexander and Hephaestion as they look for new worlds to conquer. Tonight: The boys’ wives keep pestering them, so Al and Hephaestion decide to teach them a good lesson by letting them run the empire for a while.

Wolf Broadcasting CorporationFries with That (reality). The hot reality show that takes ten new college graduates, puts them in dead-end jobs, and leaves them there forever. Tonight: Brice doesn’t realize the call-center computer has dialed his cell-phone number and sells himself an extended warranty on his 1993 Plymouth Sundance.

The Okapi ChannelOkapi News and Information (public affairs). Programming of interest to okapis.


  1. Martin the Mess says:

    Nice greengrocer’s apostrophe reference.

  2. Greybeard says:

    When are we going to get another episode of Cooking for One? I think I’ve healed up enough from the last episode to face the kitchen again.

  3. Clay Potts says:

    Next week on “Al ‘n’ Me”, episode 13, “The D.C. Metros”, those crazy Yankee Doodle Dandies, Alexander and Hephaestion rail into Washington seeking to bring civility, style and class back to Congress!

  4. Joseph Moore says:

    One can only imagine the huge sigh of gratitude that issued forth from the okapi community once their unique news-consumption needs were at long last addressed. The lack of a news program directed at one’s identity group can cause untold trauma, as we see everyday expressed in colorful and off-putting public displays. Glad that’s over.

    I myself only learned of the bare existence of okapi from one of my children’s fuzzy animals alphabet book, as O, it turns out, is for ‘Okapi’. One must wonder, however, by what mechanism letter of the alphabet are set aside as being ‘for’ one or another group. Did onions and orangutans have any say in the process? Or are we only postponing colorful and off-putting public displays from these unfortunates?

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