Miss Una Corda, the notoriously shy concert pianist, will be dressing as a ghost this year, as she does every year, in a bedsheet with no eyeholes. She will be staying at home.
Bozar the Clown will be wearing a pair of chinos, a polo shirt, and a nylon windbreaker, and he defies even his most devoted fans to recognize him.
Miss Augustina Flaxen, the blonde bombshell of Mormon broadcasting, will be dressed as a Methodist.
The Great Blando will be wearing a bright orange straitjacket, from which he plans to escape by All Saint’s Day. He will continue reciting “The Fairies” by William Allingham until he extracts himself.
Rap-jazz fusion artist Felonious Thelonious will be dressed as Kanye West dressed as Duke Ellington.
Miss Diana Smoulder, the ravishing heartthrob of the hurdy-gurdy, will be dressing as a sunflower to protest something or other that was not quite clear from her press conference.
Poet and novelist Irving Vanderblock-Wheedle will be wearing a Dan Brown mask with a turtleneck-and-tweed ensemble.
Teenie Sparkle, the host of the popular children’s program Sparkle Park, will dress as Jim Lehrer in the hopes of being able to talk to a few grownups for once in her life.
Mr. Barack Obama, the noted politician, will be dressing as John Boehner, because he can’t think of anything scarier.