Sir: I write to protest the continued use of the pronoun “whom” in your columns. “Whom” is an outdated patriarchalist cryptofascist inflection that serves no legitimate purpose in today’s modern world. Its only use is to keep the masses in bondage to a false notion of “correctness” in language, placing their speech, nay their very thoughts, under the control of the so-called educated classes, who use the position of dominance thus obtained to force the rest of us to eat processed snack foods that shorten our lifespans. My book, Liberation from Atherosclerosis Through Pronoun Reform, is available for Kindle and other ebook readers at what I consider a very reasonable price, so there is really no excuse for ignorance at this point in time.
Also, when is the water company going to replace that clumsy patch they left on Vondera Street? I nearly broke an axle on that thing. —Sincerely, Saponaria Humphries-Plank, Munhall.