LETTER TO THE EDITOR

Sir: Just this afternoon I was driving on the Boulevard of the Allies behind one of those hybrid hatchback things that lazy unpatriotic perverts who want the terrorists to win always drive, and I saw a bumper sticker I just couldn’t believe. I read it quite distinctly, because the speed limit was 40 and this loafer was only doing 48, so I was driving about six inches from his bumper and honking to let him know what he was doing wrong. Do you know what it said? It said “Judge not, lest ye be judged”! Can you believe that? I mean, I’ve heard some pretty stupid ideas in my time, like women’s suffrage and public education, but this one absolutely takes the prize. If we don’t judge people, how will we know which ones of them are the wrong people? I mean, really, do you want to associate with Unitarians? Do you really think Carpatho-Rusyns are just as good as you and me? If I didn’t carefully note the waitress’ hair color every time I went to the Eat ’n Park, how would I know what kind of tip to leave? How could I get through passing the peace at church if I didn’t know who deserved a handshake and who deserved a withering stare? How would I know which children to slow down for in the school zone? How would I know which tradesmen to leave a Christmas present for? How would I distinguish which sick people should get help and which ones deserve to die? “Judge not!” Can you imagine a decent citizen living his life that way? I don’t know who came up with that “Judge not, lest ye be judged” thing, but he was certainly no Christian. —Sincerely, Carloman Dern-Tooting, Greenfield.