An investigation by the Department of Homeland Security has determined that the terrorist responsible for anonymously sending rhyming dictionaries to noted Christian songwriters is the well-known Bozar the Clown. In the latest such incident, Homeland Security agents harmlessly detonated a copy of Walker’s Rhyming Dictionary outside the home of one John Ylvisaker. Mr. Bozar remains at large, and anyone with information as to his whereabouts is asked to contact the local authorities.


  1. There are an enormous number of Hip-Hop and Rap artists who Bozar should send a Rhyming dictionary to, as well. And perhaps a Thesaurus. For a musical art form practically defined by clever wordplay, meter, and rhyme, the current generation seems to have forgotten how to use all three.

  2. C. Simon says:

    Homeland Security has announced a new danger. If carried out, the highly coordinated so-called “enhanced culture” plot would have given copies of Fux’s Gradus Ad Parnassum ( to high profile targets in Hollywood and Nashville. Capt. Sylvanus Tin-ear of the FBI reminded people of low taste everywhere, “Always remember, if you see something, say something.”

    • C. Simon says:

      Oh, and don’t get me started on the international cell of dangerous hackers who go about replacing innocent people’s plain text with smilies!

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