The NSA would like to remind all patriotic Americans to have a little pride in their appearance. Our dedicated agents are doing their best to protect you from the evil machinations of terrorists and dissidents, but it is very depressing to them when you sit around the house in baggy sweatpants and a T-shirt that looks like you haven’t washed it since high school. You don’t have to dress like Donna Reed every day, but have some dignity, for Pete’s sake. And try to sit in a well-lighted area away from any interfering backlighting. Your cooperation will save millions of tax dollars in therapy for burnt-out agents.