IN THE NEWS.

A number of “Classical Realist” artists in the tri-state area were the victims of an apparently coordinated attack in which their digital cameras were stolen, leaving them unable to paint. According to police, each victim received a politely worded note, signed “Zobar,” and a copy of a nineteenth-century drawing book that teaches the primitive and outmoded technique of drawing from life rather than photographs. The Tri-State Classical Realists’ Guild has issued an appeal for donations of old digital cameras so that the victims may begin to visualize again.

In other news, curators at the Duck Hollow Museum of Art report that the space formerly occupied by Fall of Western Civilization, a work of installation art confiscated by state police a week ago after it proved to be built from stolen “Gas Station TV” television screens, is now occupied by a sculpture consisting of a number of digital cameras glued together at odd angles.