It is considered bad luck to build an alligator pit on the route between the master bedroom and the bathroom.

Doors, windows, skylights, and dryer vents should be bricked up to prevent luck from escaping.

If you are having problems with bad feng shui, try changing your house number when no one is looking. This confuses the demons of bad luck, who are pesky but not terribly bright.

According to the best authorities on feng shui, the ideal location for your kitchen is in someone else’s house, or (better yet) in a fancy restaurant down the street.

If a poison arrow is pointed at your bed, consider moving to a community where the natives are less hostile.

Try installing a Ponzi scheme in your money area to attract fortune.


  1. Dear Dr. Boli,

    Lately when I go out on a date to a decent restaurant there is either music whining in the background, derailing my train of thought, or they have several screens of television going but in some way obstructed (muted or partly obscured behind a pillar et cetera). So how do can I ask politely for them to turn that stuff off?

    Perplexed in Pleasant Hills

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