Adventurous scientist wanted to validate new theory that explains everything. I have discovered by intuition that all gravity is particulate, and that gravity, electromagnetism, and artificial vanilla flavoring are one and the same force, which is called allspice; furthermore, trees are listening devices planted by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention as part of a “dark op” designed to detect and clandestinely eliminate mandolin players. You need only design and carry out an experiment that will validate this theory, and you will be given co-author credit in the published paper.