Adventurous scientist wanted to validate new theory that explains everything. I have discovered by intuition that all gravity is particulate, and that gravity, electromagnetism, and artificial vanilla flavoring are one and the same force, which is called allspice; furthermore, trees are listening devices planted by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention as part of a “dark op” designed to detect and clandestinely eliminate mandolin players. You need only design and carry out an experiment that will validate this theory, and you will be given co-author credit in the published paper.


  1. Jared says:

    It would appear that the good Doctor is embracing social media in a big way. It occurs to me, though, that any reader with the time to participate in all of the indicated social networks is rather the opposite of social. And Flattr: is that like Twitter for Levelers? Or Flat-Earthers?

    • Dr. Boli says:

      It was because Martin the Mess made him feel guilty about not having a Fark button that Dr. Boli added more buttons. He suspects that most social-media users are like Mr. the Mess: they have one favorite, however obscure, and they feel a little put out if it is not represented.

      Flattr, it turns out, is a system for “micropayments.” There really is no sense in having a Flattr button when Dr. Boli is not set up to receive the farthings and halfpennies Flattr distributes.

      Perhaps some of the other obscure services will go away in a while, too. Dr. Boli seriously debated in the beginning whether to include LinkedIn, for example, since it seemed to him to be mostly a business-card exchange service for middle managers. But the first button anyone used was the one for LinkedIn, proving what Dr. Boli has always suspected: that most of his readers are reading his Magazine instead of working, and that this publication is responsible for most of the decline in American competitiveness all the prophets of doom keep harping on.

      • Ahem. Pretty sure you had all these buttons already when I first mentioned the lack of a Fark button. Not that I need a Fark button, I am on a laptop with a perfectly serviceable ability to cut-n-paste from the address bar into Fark’s link headline submission page. I was just mildly disappointed that I would not be able to use any of those share buttons even experimentally, not having signed up with any of the services involved. I also don’t have a printer set up at the moment, nor is my web-based email service compatible with your email-share button. But oh well. My usual method of sharing Dr. Boli pages with friends will continue to be either saying, “Hey, sis, check out this, I think you’ll find it interesting,” before physically handing my sister my laptop with the relevant Dr. Boli article already on the screen, or cut-n-pasting an article’s URL into a steamchat window to show one of my online friends.

  2. “[T]rees are listening devices planted by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention as part of a ‘dark op.'”

    That makes this recent development all the more dangerous.

    Jeffery Hodges

    * * *

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *