Dear Dr. Boli: We’ve just adopted a newborn baby from Ethiopia, and we need to learn Amharic within a year so we can understand her when she begins to talk. Can you recommend a good book?  ——Sincerely, A Lovely Yuppie Couple in Point Breeze.

Dear Proud Parents: Dr. Boli has always thought that The Crimes of Galahad was a very good book indeed. He is not sure what your question has to do with your problem, however.

Dear Dr. Boli: The dog dropped my slippers in the fireplace, and now I’m leaving carbon footprints everywhere. How can I reduce them? ——Sincerely, A Man with Black Slippers That Used to Be Teal.

Dear Sir: You may wish to look into carbon trading. Dr. Boli has never thoroughly investigated the whole business, but it seems to be something like the old S&H Green Stamps program, in which you would trade your excess carbon for articles of value, such as toasters, which in turn might produce more carbon. Theoretically there is no reason why you should not get rich in this business.



  1. Diempster Diavior says:

    If the gentleman wears his slippers long enough he may in fact, develop diamonds on the soles of his slippers which would likely be a better ROI in the long-run than carbon-trading. However, this would not be a viable long-term alternative if the gentleman lives in a glass house, with glass floors.

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