What the world needs most today is order.
When I am in charge, I will stop this senseless discrimination against the differently sane.
Though I control a vast nuclear arsenal, I trust in my henchmen’s martial-arts skills to defend me.
What others call my “monstrous egotism” is merely a reasonable and informed self-esteem.
My character judgment is infallible, and my underlings are unswervingly loyal.
Although the United Nations could never agree on a protocol for ordering pizza, they will nevertheless accede to my demands unanimously within twenty-four hours.
A self-destruct countdown that cannot be stopped is a feature, not a bug.
The fact that my extravagantly gorgeous daughter has an eye for square-jawed hero types will in no way impede my ultimate victory.
Anger clarifies my judgment.
Reason alone will persuade the hero’s plucky girlfriend that I am a more suitable mate.
You say “psychotic”; I say “perceptive.”