FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS ABOUT PAPER,

Courtesy of the Brenneman Paper Company of North Braddock.

Where does paper come from?

Paper comes from the Brenneman Paper Company of North Braddock, Penna. If you do not see the Brenneman watermark on your paper, you should be deeply suspicious.

Why should I use paper?

Paper is the ideal medium for receiving the marks of a pen, pencil, crayon, or other writing instrument. Compared to lettuce, paper is much longer-lasting and receives more legible marks. Compared to sycamore bark, paper is less brittle and easier to obtain. Compared to parchment, paper is more economical and does not involve cruelty to animals, although it does involve a certain amount of cruelty to conifers and old rags.

Why is cotton used in fine paper?

Cotton is used in fine paper for the same reason that cotton is used in good shirts. If you should ever run out of shirts, you will be able to make your own shirt out of Brenneman’s Finest All-Cotton Bond at the cost of only a little work with scissors and paste.

Why is fine paper watermarked?

We have been trying to tackle the dampness problem in our factory for some time now, but what with one thing and another we simply haven’t got around to it yet.

What weight of paper should I use?

Most experts recommend never using any paper heavier than you can lift.

Is fine cotton paper recyclable?

Yes! After it has been written or printed on, Brenneman’s Finest All-Cotton Bond may be folded into a sturdy paper airplane. You may already have seen the results if you have flown any of Brenneman Airways’ regularly scheduled flights between Latrobe and Rostraver.

Now that we have computers and things, is paper really necessary?

Consider this: the Emancipation Proclamation was written on paper. Without paper, millions of men, women, and children in the United States would still be slaves today. Do you want to take that risk?