Dear Dr. Boli: I am a little confused. Can you explain to me what the difference is between “cheese” and “pasteurized process cheese food”? —Sincerely, Alvino McCollander, President, Mid-Atlantic Association of the Moderately Confused, Oakmont or Verona Branch.

Dear Sir: “Cheese food” is, as its name implies, meant to be fed to cheese. Please don’t tell us you’ve been eating that stuff yourself.


  1. Ben Ieghn says:

    I once had a fishing buddy who would always eat the Velveeta we used as fish-bait. Last time I saw him, he was homeless and sleeping on a sidewalk in a card-board box, wrapped in aluminum foil for a blanket…

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