THE LANGUAGE OF PASTRIES.

Napoleon. I hurl defiance at your winter climate.

Baklava. The world of the ideal is the only true reality.

Croissant. Your birthday card contained three spelling errors. Could you please resend?

Chausson aux pommes. My music is influenced by the literary works of the great Russian novelists, but with apples.

Paszki. To me the phonetic values of letters are meaningless.

Danish. Our system has detected anomalies originating from your computer. (Alternatively, I am a pretentious croissant.)

Lemon Tart. The person to your right has designs on your luggage.

Cruller. And shall they not be crulled?

Fried fruit pie in a box at the convenience store. Your attentions are unwelcome.