How do you know when you have passed from being a mere eccentric into being a crank? If you have a Web site, it may be very easy to tell.

Does your Web site look like a site designed by a religious extremist in 1996? You are a crank.

Is your pet theory so complex that the table of contents runs over eighteen thousand words? You are a crank.

Are the eighteen thousand words presented all in one lump on the front page of your Web site? You are a crank.

Do you use underlines, bold text, italic text, red text, blue text, larger text, expanded text, all capitals, red and blue bold underlined italic text, shaded backgrounds, and ruled boxes for various shades of emphasis? You are a crank.

Do you believe in magic legalism—Dr. Boli’s term for the idea that a certain legalistic form of words or actions will break the spell of evil and bring about the reforms or salvation you desire, and that failure to adhere to the form brings automatic doom? You are a crank.

Do you believe that an entire institution of a billion members has seceded from you, leaving you the only remaining true member? You are a crank.

Do you maintain an annotated list of people who are definitely going to hell? You are a crank.

The question comes of up because of a comment left on our recent article about historical fallacies having to do with slavery:

If you’re at all interested in knowing . . . the Catholic Dogma . . . that we *must believe* to get to Heaven . . . I list it on my website > > >

C A U T I O N : The Catholic Church has had no physical properties for 50 years (8 Dec 1965) . . . because of the Sources of Dogma on automatic excommunication for heresy.

The Catholic God knows . . . what we think and believe . . .

Catholic Faith (pre-fulfillment) writing of Deuteronomy 31 : 21 >
“For I know their thoughts, and what they are about to do this day.”

Catholic Faith (pre-fulfillment) writing of Job 21 : 27 >
“Surely I know your thoughts, and your unjust judgments against Me.”

Catholic writing of Romans 1 : 21 >
“They … became vain in their thoughts, and their foolish heart was darkened.”

If you only scan the Index … you won’t see the infallible Dogma from the Pope in union with the Bishops of the world … which * alone * keeps people from eternal damnation.

Dr. Boli was about to say that he does not like to make fun of sincere people’s sincerely held religious beliefs, but that would be a lie. He does like to make fun of some sincerely held religious beliefs. In general there is an inverse ratio between the number of people the crank proposes to damn in hell and the guilt Dr. Boli feels about making fun of said crank. Someone who has said to Dr. Boli, “You, personally, are damned to hell,” can hardly complain about the mild term “crank.”

He will point out, however, that much of the crankiness could be mitigated by good Web design. Make the site look more modern. Give it a menu structure that masks the unfathomable depths of crankiness within. Perhaps you could add a slider.

One of those “laws” that people on the Internet like to cite is called “Poe’s Law,” which says something like this: “Without a winking smiley or other blatant display of humor, it is utterly impossible to parody a religious extremist in such a way that someone won’t mistake for the genuine article.” Dr. Boli brings up Poe’s Law because it is not possible to prove beyond a doubt that is not a parody of crank Web sites. On the one hand, if a Web site where the mere table of contents runs to more than eighteen thousand words were a parody, then it would be perhaps the most heroic parody in history, and that seems rather unlikely. But, on the other hand, the commenter signs his name “Mike Bizzaro.”


  1. Cattle Guard says:

    Perhaps those thousands of words and their formatting code can be largely generated by an algorithm.

  2. bill says:

    Thanks for the heads up! The website has made me aware that, even though I am not Catholic, I am apparently excommunicated anyway.

  3. I didn’t wait to be excommunicated, I gave up Catholicism for Lent many years ago and never looked back.

    • Dr. Boli says:

      Did you get down as far as Section 97? It is headed “The Voice of the Saints on the Virtue of Humility.”

      It begins, “It is 100% certain you’re headed for Hell … for rejecting the Catholic Dogma … Warning: There are no bishops or priests in these times

      “<< On this site ... you will discover how you are being sent into Hell forever ... your willingness to be deceived is making you eternally culpable >>”

      It goes on to remind us that “A non-Catholic anti-Christ cult (the Vatican-2 heretic cult) took over all of our formerly Catholic properties on 8 December 1965 … the ‘V-2 council’ close date.”

      And furthermore, “All those dressed up like Catholic bishops and priests are … automatically excommunicated heretics against the Catholic Dogma.”

      And “Vatican-2-ists: You are automatically excommunicated from the Catholic Church.”

      These statements are presented with various forms of typographical emphasis.

      Dr. Boli has been thumbing through the dictionaries of Noah Webster and Samuel Johnson, but he cannot find a definition of “humility” that seems to fit the way our present author uses it. But it must be proof of Dr. Boli’s arrogance that he looks at one man condemning the entire world to hell and says, “perhaps that man is not as humble as he thinks he is.”

  4. Captain DaFt says:

    Ah yes, the ol’ “My way or the highway to Hell” gambit so beloved of extreme fundamentalist of all creeds.

  5. John M says:

    I’m still confused as to how one adds a “Slider” to a web site. I realize these White Castle hamburgers are square, but my scanner keeps jamming when I try to convert them to a digital format.(

  6. Mike Bizzaro says:

    Albertus –

    Here is the historical perspective you may be struggling to locate …

    Satan’s “lutheran” heresy … started by men in 1517
    > > This means “lutherans” are not Christians

    Satan’s “anglican” heresy … started by men in 1534
    > > This means “anglicans” are not Christians

    Satan’s “huguenot” heresy … started by men in 1550
    > > This means “huguenots” are not Christians

    Satan’s “presbyterian” heresy … started by men in 1560
    > > This means “presbyterians” are not Christians

    Satan’s “congregationalist” heresy … started by men in 1582
    > > This means “congregationalists” are not Christians

    Satan’s “baptist” heresy … started by men in 1606
    > > This means “baptists” are not Christians

    Satan’s “dutch reformed” heresy … started by men in 1628
    > > This means “dutch reformed” are not Christians

    Satan’s “mennonite” heresy … started by men in 1632
    > > This means “mennonites” are not Christians

    Satan’s “amish” heresy … started by men in 1693
    > > This means the “amish” are not Christians

    Satan’s “methodist” heresy … started by men in 1744
    > > This means “methodists” are not Christians

    Satan’s “unitarian” heresy … started by men in 1774
    > > This means “unitarians” are not Christians

    Satan’s “episcopalian” heresy … started by men in 1780
    > > This means “episcopalians” are not Christians

    Satan’s “mormon” heresy … started by men in 1829
    > > This means “mormons” are not Christians

    Satan’s “seventh day adventist” … started by men 1863
    > > This means “7th day adventists” are not Christians

    Satan’s “salvation army” heresy … started by men in 1865
    > > This means “salvation army-ists” are not Christians

    Satan’s “scientist” heresy … started by men in 1879
    > > This means “scientists” are not Christians

    Satan’s “evangelical” heresy … started by men in 1900
    > > This means “evangelicals” are not Christians

    Satan’s “pentecostal” heresy … started by men in 1900
    > > This means “pentecostals” are not Christians

    Satan’s “Bible alone” heresies … by men 1500’s to present
    > > This means “bible aloners” are not Christians

    Satan’s “orthodox” heresy … started by men in 1054
    > > This means the “orthodox” are not Christians

    Satan’s “vatican-2” heresy … started by men in 1965
    > > This means “vatican-ists” are not Christians

    Catholic Church > founded in 33 A.D. by Christ

    • By those standards, the Roman Catholic Church was founded by men in the 300’s, when Constantine made it the State Religion of the Roman Empire and called the Council of Nicea to figure out exactly WHAT dogma he’d just imposed on everyone. And according to my Church-historian sister, most of what was gotten rid of at Vatican 2 had only been added at the Council of Trent in the 1500’s anyways, as part of the Counter-Reformation against Lutheranism.

      The actual church founded and overseen by Christ in his lifetime and the apostles immediately thereafter bears strikingly little resemblance to the Catholic Church of today or even the pre-Vatican-II period.

      • Ann Tiquity says:

        Dear Sir Martin,

        I usually enjoy your comments, but in this you’ve let me down. Have you ever read the Apostolic Fathers? Or any of the documents written before Constantine was born? He added nothing to the faith that was well in place when Clement and Ignatius were writing (late 90s and 107 A.D.). If Constantine invented the Catholic Church, then I invented the toaster, since I do use one. I’m not trying to get you to go back to Church. I just would rather you’d leave silliness like your last comment to people like Dan Brown. You’re much better than this.

        • Dr. Boli says:

          We can probably all agree, though, that Constantine was the first Bible-thumping politician.

        • Bullcrap. The church in the time of Jesus was, to put it bluntly: a cult. They’d have had their own fortified compound, but someone else was using Masada at the time. It had its single charismatic leader, a small group of male assistant leaders, and a bevy of women who clung to the leader (all of whom seemed to be named Mary for some darn reason). And, like every other cult, its dogma was not fully-formed from day one, it changed over time. Just as Mohamed and Joseph Smith later tried to repudiate or cover up earlier pronouncements originally given their imprimatur of divine infallibility, Jesus likely changed his mind. Since he left no writings of his own and all we got are much later third-hand accounts, only tantalizing clues remain as to what these changes were, but we can tell that his original schtick fell on deaf ears in his native Nazareth and it was only after he’d perfected his show by taking it on the road that he really got the ball rolling.

          Once Jesus was gone, so were his gaggle of fawning Marys, and his original apostles broke up and headed in various directions, all also gradually honing and changing their message as they went. His brother James stuck in Jerusalem trying to convert the Jews, Peter went to the Jews in Rome, Thomas went to India, and so forth. And then there was Paul, whose epiphany on the Road to Damascus seemed to be “If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em…and take them over from within.” Which he proceeded to do, but Paul didn’t get along with the other Apostles, nor did he really care that much about what Jesus had done and said, preferring to put his own words in Jesus’ mouth and claim them as divine inspiration. And when he realized that one of early Christianity’s holdover rules from Judaism was getting in the way of lucrative franchise opportunities among the Gentiles, out those rules went. Greeks don’t want to be circumcised? Circumcision is now optional. Greeks like their pork and goat meat with Feta? Paul has a dream of all animals entering under one big tent, and the Kosher rules are out the window. So what if Jesus claimed he had come to uphold every jot and tittle of the Mosaic Law? Paul had Gentile souls to convert! Much of the New Testament consists of angry letters Paul and Peter and so forth sent back and forth desperately trying to keep the new churches and their bishops on-message, and failing miserably because they themselves had gone hopelessly off-message, especially in the case of Paul.

          And between them drifting off message and their later followers and imitators interjecting their own ideas and concepts, there never WAS a single church dogma, it was riven by heresies and controversies pretty much from Pentecost onward. The Arian Heresy, the Nestorian Heresy, they’d multiply over the coming centuries as new converts clung to concepts and practices from their old pagan beliefs and new concepts and traditions emerged. Many of these details are lost to history, but in more modern times we can see, for example, attitudes and concepts and traditions of the Aztecs and Mayans influencing the actual practices and beliefs of the rank-and-file Mexican Catholics, which are very different from the official Catholicism promulgated in seminaries back in Rome. The same thing happened when proto-Catholic Christianity came to Ireland, to Germany, to Scandinavia, to Greece.

          This early Pre-Constantine church of the Apostles and their apostolic successors was no longer a single cult, it was a loose gaggle of cults, a poorly organized underground movement. Like all cults, they attracted people who were sick of being told they did not matter, and who wanted to feel close to the divine, feel that the universe cared about them as individuals and as a group. Today, it’s the bored housewives and kids of the middle class, who fail to live up to the expectations of their parents and peers, and seek reaffirmation in the cult community. Back then, it was the slaves and the Roman equivalent of suburban teenagers with terminal ennui.

          And when an ambitious general named Constantine desperately needed allies in one of Rome’s interminable civil wars, he realized these Christians already had a preexisting secret underground network of slaves and housewives and sullen teenage sons and daughters of every leading household in the Roman Empire. What better way to eavesdrop on your political rivals, slip assassins into their very bedrooms, and undermine them from within? But once he won his throne and brought some semblance of order to the Empire, the Church was no longer an underground movement, it was a State Religion. The very group who a few years before had been claiming the end of the world was nigh and Rome would be thrown down for her persecutions, were now the guys running Rome, persecuting their rivals more thoroughly than they had ever been persecuted, and praying for the health of the Emperor instead of counting up the letters in his name and coming up with 666. Before, treason had been orthodoxy and loyalty to the Empire had been heresy. Now, loyalty was orthodoxy, heresy was treason, and treason was heresy.

          This is not “using the toaster”. It’s turning the toaster into a torture device to root out rebels and political dissidents. And if heresy was treason, then all those localized theological confusions had to go. Hence, the Council of Nicea, formalizing what was in the official scripture and what was not, and which heresies were worth burning people at the stake over and which were mere academic disputes.

          And the Church would change further. It was much later that they finally got rid of married priests. Before, most priests were married, both to breed more priests, and because the archetypical church had been the House Church, with the family patriarch holding private masses for his family and friends, in secret lest the Roman Authorities find out. Now, as a State Church, they had grand basilicas and the priesthood was an arm of the Imperial government, with the church buildings as state property. But once the Empire had fallen in the West, and the new lands now under petty Germanic kingdoms were likely to change hands several times a generation, whose state was the state church an arm of? The Church became the first multinational corporation, and married priests were banned lest they try to pass corporate property on to their kids rather than to their successors as local corporate franchisee.

          Later still, the State Church would become a Church with its own State, and as one of the few places in Europe whose leader was elected rather than hereditary, any ambitious family with enough ducats to buy some street toughs or, later, to bribe a few dozen Cardinals could put one of its sons on the Papal Throne, not just as CEO of the Church as multinational corporation, but of the Papal States, a country with cities and territory and armies and ambassadors and secret police and the whole shebang. Sometimes the Popes were the puppets of powerful Kings or aristocratic family dynasties, sometimes they made Emperors kneel in the snow. And their interpretation of dogma was flexible enough to bend whichever way their political ambitions needed them to bend.

          By the time of Vatican II, the Catholic Church was hardly a State Church anywhere any more, but it was still a multinational corporation, and remains so. But it was not the underground movement or the cult centered on a charismatic leader it had been almost two thousand years before. And two thousand years from now, it will be something else yet again. Basic dogma and key concepts of history have changed, particularly with regard to the role of Mary, for example. Dormition or Assumption? Co-redeemer or mere empty vessel for the Son to come into the world? Those went back and forth before Vatican II. So did pretty much everything else.

          • Dr. Boli says:

            When one has literate and passionate correspondents, it takes very little effort to fill a Web site with thousands of words. One merely has to mention a topic, and off they go. As one advances in years, one learns to appreciate such correspondents more and more.

          • Ben Ieghn says:

            Martin, If you really believe a word of what you just wasted way too much of your time to write and too much of mine to read, you might consider a new moniker – Martin the Moron.

          • Ann Tiquity says:

            Uh …. which brings us back to the title of Dr. Boli’s post.

          • Dr. Boli says:

            By the way, Martin the Mess, even though Dr. Boli disagrees with many of your conclusions, he must say that this is some of the most eloquent and vigorous writing he has ever seen from you—and to exceed your own high standard is a significant accomplishment.

      • Mike Bizzaro says:

        Marty –
        Whoever told you that Catholic Church was founded in 300 A.D. was working for your eternal damnation … here’s the proof – thanks, Mike

        1. St. Peter (33-67)
        2. St. Linus (67-76)
        3. St. Anacletus (Cletus) (76-88)
        4. St. Clement I (88-97)
        5. St. Evaristus (97-105)
        6. St. Alexander I (105-115)
        7. St. Sixtus I (115-125)
        8. St. Telesphorus (125-136)
        9. St. Hyginus (136-140)
        10. St. Pius I (140-155)
        11. St. Anicetus (155-166)
        12. St. Soter (166-175)
        13. St. Eleutherius (175-189)
        14. St. Victor I (189-199)
        15. St. Zephyrinus (199-217)
        16. St. Callistus I (217-22)
        17. St. Urban I (222-30)
        18. St. Pontain (230-35)
        19. St. Anterus (235-36)
        20. St. Fabian (236-50)
        21. St. Cornelius (251-53)
        22. St. Lucius I (253-54)
        23. St. Stephen I (254-257)
        24. St. Sixtus II (257-258)
        25. St. Dionysius (260-268)
        26. St. Felix I (269-274)
        27. St. Eutychian (275-283)
        28. St. Caius (283-296)
        29. St. Marcellinus (296-304)
        30. St. Marcellus I (308-309)
        31. St. Eusebius (309 or 310)
        32. St. Miltiades (311-14)
        33. St. Sylvester I (314-35)
        34. St. Marcus (336)
        35. St. Julius I (337-52)
        36. Liberius (352-66)
        37. St. Damasus I (366-83)
        38. St. Siricius (384-99)
        39. St. Anastasius I (399-401)
        40. St. Innocent I (401-17)
        41. St. Zosimus (417-18)
        42. St. Boniface I (418-22)
        43. St. Celestine I (422-32)
        44. St. Sixtus III (432-40)
        45. St. Leo I (the Great) (440-61)
        46. St. Hilarius (461-68)
        47. St. Simplicius (468-83)
        48. St. Felix III (II) (483-92)
        49. St. Gelasius I (492-96)
        50. Anastasius II (496-98)
        51. St. Symmachus (498-514)
        52. St. Hormisdas (514-23)
        53. St. John I (523-26)
        54. St. Felix IV (III) (526-30)
        55. Boniface II (530-32)
        56. John II (533-35)
        57. St. Agapetus I (535-36)
        58. St. Silverius (536-37)
        59. Vigilius (537-55)
        60. Pelagius I (556-61)
        61. John III (561-74)
        62. Benedict I (575-79)
        63. Pelagius II (579-90)
        64. St. Gregory I (590-604)
        65. Sabinian (604-606)
        66. Boniface III (607)
        67. St. Boniface IV (608-15)
        68. St. Deusdedit (615-18)
        69. Boniface V (619-25)
        70. “Honorius I” – fell into heresy
        (625-38) see Constantinople III
        71. Severinus (640)
        72. John IV (640-42)
        73. Theodore I (642-49)
        74. St. Martin I (649-55)
        75. St. Eugene I (655-57)
        76. St. Vitalian (657-72)
        77. Adeodatus (II) (672-76)
        78. Donus (676-78)
        79. St. Agatho (678-81)
        80. St. Leo II (682-83)
        81. St. Benedict II (684-85)
        82. John V (685-86)
        83. Conon (686-87)
        84. St. Sergius I (687-701)
        85. John VI (701-05)
        86. John VII (705-07)
        87. Sisinnius (708)
        88. Constantine (708-15)
        89. St. Gregory II (715-31)
        90. St. Gregory III (731-41)
        91. St. Zachary (741-52)
        92. Stephen II (752)
        93. Stephen III (752-57)
        94. St. Paul I (757-67)
        95. Stephen IV (767-72)
        96. Adrian I (772-95)
        97. St. Leo III (795-816)
        98. Stephen V (816-17)
        99. St. Paschal I (817-24)
        100. Eugene II (824-27)
        101. Valentine (827)
        102. Gregory IV (827-44)
        103. Sergius II (844-47)
        104. St. Leo IV (847-55)
        105. Benedict III (855-58)
        106. St. Nicholas I (the Great)
        107. Adrian II (867-72)
        108. John VIII (872-82)
        109. Marinus I (882-84)
        110. St. Adrian III (884-85)
        111. Stephen VI (885-91)
        112. Formosus (891-96)
        113. Boniface VI (896)
        114. Stephen VII (896-97)
        115. Romanus (897)
        116. Theodore II (897)
        117. John IX (898-900)
        118. Benedict IV (900-03)
        119. Leo V (903)
        120. Sergius III (904-11)
        121. Anastasius III (911-13)
        122. Lando (913-14)
        123. John X (914-28)
        124. Leo VI (928)
        125. Stephen VIII (929-31)
        126. John XI (931-35)
        127. Leo VII (936-39)
        128. Stephen IX (939-42)
        129. Marinus II (942-46)
        130. Agapetus II (946-55)
        131. John XII (955-63)
        132. Leo VIII (963-64)
        133. Benedict V (964)
        134. John XIII (965-72)
        135. Benedict VI (973-74)
        136. Benedict VII (974-83)
        137. John XIV (983-84)
        138. John XV (985-96)
        139. Gregory V (996-99)
        140. Sylvester II (999-1003)
        141. John XVII (1003)
        142. John XVIII (1003-09)
        143. Sergius IV (1009-12)
        144. Benedict VIII (1012-24)
        145. John XIX (1024-32)
        146. Benedict IX (1032-45)
        Appears three times,
        he was restored twice.
        147. Sylvester III (1045)
        148. Benedict IX (1045)
        149. Gregory VI (1045-46)
        150. Clement II (1046-47)
        151. Benedict IX (1047-1048)
        152. Damasus II (1048)
        153. St. Leo IX (1049-54)
        154. Victor II (1055-57)
        155. Stephen X (1057-58)
        156. Nicholas II (1058-61)
        157. Alexander II (1061-73)
        158. St. Gregory VII (1073-85)
        159. Blessed Victor III (1086-87)
        160. Blessed Urban II (1088-99)
        161. Paschal II (1099-1118)
        162. Gelasius II (1118-19)
        163. Callistus II (1119-24)
        164. Honorius II (1124-30)
        165. Innocent II (1130-43)
        166. Celestine II (1143-44)
        167. Lucius II (1144-45)
        168. Blessed Eugene III (1145-53)
        169. Anastasius IV (1153-54)
        170. Adrian IV (1154-59)
        171. Alexander III (1159-81)
        172. Lucius III (1181-85)
        173. Urban III (1185-87)
        174. Gregory VIII (1187)
        175. Clement III (1187-91)
        176. Celestine III (1191-98)
        177. Innocent III (1198-1216)
        178. Honorius III (1216-27)
        179. Gregory IX (1227-41)
        180. Celestine IV (1241)
        181. Innocent IV (1243-54)
        182. Alexander IV (1254-61)
        183. Urban IV (1261-64)
        184. Clement IV (1265-68)
        185. Blessed Gregory X (1271-76)
        186. Blessed Innocent V (1276)
        187. Adrian V (1276)
        188. John XXI (1276-77)
        189. Nicholas III (1277-80)
        190. Martin IV (1281-85)
        191. Honorius IV (1285-87)
        192. Nicholas IV (1288-92)
        193. St. Celestine V (1294)
        194. Boniface VIII (1294-1303)
        195. Blessed Benedict XI (1303-04)
        196. Clement V (1305-14)
        197. John XXII (1316-34)
        198. Benedict XII (1334-42)
        199. Clement VI (1342-52)
        200. Innocent VI (1352-62)
        201. Blessed Urban V (1362-70)
        202. Gregory XI (1370-78)
        203. Urban VI (1378-89)
        204. Boniface IX (1389-1404)
        205. Innocent VII (1404-06)
        206. Gregory XII (1406-15)
        207. Martin V (1417-31)
        208. Eugene IV (1431-47)
        209. Nicholas V (1447-55)
        210. Callistus III (1455-58)
        211. Pius II (1458-64)
        212. Paul II (1464-71)
        213. Sixtus IV (1471-84)
        214. Innocent VIII (1484-92)
        215. Alexander VI (1492-1503)
        216. Pius III (1503)
        217. Julius II (1503-13)
        218. Leo X (1513-21)
        219. Adrian VI (1522-23)
        220. Clement VII (1523-34)
        221. Paul III (1534-49)
        222. Julius III (1550-55)
        223. Marcellus II (1555)
        224. Paul IV (1555-59)
        225. Pius IV (1559-65)
        226. St. Pius V (1566-72)
        227. Gregory XIII (1572-85)
        228. Sixtus V (1585-90)
        229. Urban VII (1590)
        230. Gregory XIV (1590-91)
        231. Innocent IX (1591)
        232. Clement VIII (1592-1605)
        233. Leo XI (1605)
        234. Paul V (1605-21)
        235. Gregory XV (1621-23)
        236. Urban VIII (1623-44)
        237. Innocent X (1644-55)
        238. Alexander VII (1655-67)
        239. Clement IX (1667-69)
        240. Clement X (1670-76)
        241. Blessed Innocent XI (1676-89)
        242. Alexander VIII (1689-91)
        243. Innocent XII (1691-1700)
        244. Clement XI (1700-21)
        245. Innocent XIII (1721-24)
        246. Benedict XIII (1724-30)
        247. Clement XII (1730-40)
        248. Benedict XIV (1740-58)
        249. Clement XIII (1758-69)
        250. Clement XIV (1769-74)
        251. Pius VI (1775-99)
        252. Pius VII (1800-23)
        253. Leo XII (1823-29)
        254. Pius VIII (1829-30)
        255. Gregory XVI (1831-46)
        256. Pius IX (1846-78)
        257. Leo XIII (1878-1903)
        258. Pius X (1903-14)

        > Papacy falls vacant in 1914

        – – – heretic “Benedict XV” (1914-22)
        – – – heretic “Pius XI” (1922-39)
        – – – heretic “Pius XII” (1939-58)
        – – – heretic “John XXIII” (1958-63)
        – – – heretic “Paul VI” (1963-78)
        – – – heretic “John Paul I” (1978)
        – – – heretic “John Paul II” (1978-2005)
        – – – heretic “Benedict XVI” (2005-2013)
        – – – heretic “Francis” (2013 – )

  7. Mike Bizzaro says:

    Albertus –

    You and some of your commenters are missing one of the effects of … Original Sin … closing Heaven for all men (temporarily).

    Here is what you are also missing …

    Catholic Faith (pre-fulfillment) writing of Ecclesiastes 9:3 >
    “This is a very great evil among all things that are done under the sun, that the same things happen to all men … they *shall* be brought down to Hell.”

    Catholic Faith (pre-fulfillment) writing of Psalm 88:49 >
    “Who is the man that shall live, and not see death: that shall deliver his soul from the hand of Hell ?”

    Catholic Faith (pre-fulfillment) writing of Ecclesiasticus 51:9 >
    “And my life was drawing near to Hell beneath.”

    Catholic Faith (pre-fulfillment) writing of Isaias 5:14 >
    “Therefore hath Hell enlarged her soul, and opened her mouth without any bounds, and their strong ones, and their people, and their high and glorious ones shall go down into it.”

    Etc. – more listed on the introduction section of the site >

  8. Mike Bizzaro says:

    Albertus –

    You may be of the opinion that there is a “category of higher beings” … that brought about the natural order (that which you can see).

    But … only *one* tells the future with laser accuracy … the Catholic God.

    You’ve apparently missed this also …

    Catholic Faith (pre-fulfillment) writing of Proverbs 30:4 >
    “Who hath ascended up into Heaven, and descended? What is the name of His Son, if thou knowest?”

    Catholic Faith (pre-fulfillment) writing of Sophonius 3:8 >
    “Expect Me, saith the Lord, in the day of My resurrection that is to come … to assemble the Gentiles, and to gather the kingdoms.”

    Catholic Faith (pre-fulfillment) writing of Daniel 9:26
    “Christ shall be slain: and the people that shall deny Him shall not be His.”

    Catholic Faith (pre-fulfillment) writing of Isaias 7:14 >
    “Therefore the Lord himself shall give you a sign. Behold a virgin shall conceive, and bear a Son, and His name shall be called Emmanuel.”

    Catholic Faith (pre-fulfillment) writing of Isaias 66:9 >
    “Shall not I that make others to bring forth children, Myself bring forth, saith the Lord? Shall I, that give generation to others, be barren, saith the Lord thy God?”

    Catholic Faith (pre-fulfillment) writing of Ecclesiasticus 24:12 >
    “Then the Creator of all things commanded, and said to me: and He that made me, rested in my tabernacle.”

    Catholic Faith (pre-fulfillment) writing of Micheas 5:2 >
    “And thou, Bethlehem Ephrata, art a little one among the thousands of Juda: out of thee shall He come forth unto Me that is to be the ruler in Israel: and His going forth is from the beginning, from the days of eternity.”

    Does this … particular future teller sound familiar ? I bet He does.

    More >

    • Sophonius? Micheas? Which appendix to the apocrypha are these books from?

      • Ah, apparently alternate names for Zephaniah and Micah. Wikipedia was no help with those spellings, shoulda just Googled it, but I tend to over-rely on Wikipedia as the standard repository of all human wisdom. This minor point of criticism withdrawn.

      • Mike Bizzaro says:

        Marty –

        Your “apocrypha” heresy was spawned in Hell. Christ and the apostles quoted over 40 times from the seven books … that the heretic cults threw into the trash (with their souls) in the 1500’s.

        Proof on my site >

        Some examples here … (nice try Marty) …

        Catholic writing of St. Matthew 6:19 >
        “Lay not up to yourselves treasures on earth: where the rust, and moth consume, and where thieves break through and steal.”

        The Old Testament reference … discarded from the falsified heretic “bibles” is …

        Catholic Faith (pre-fulfillment) writing of Ecclesiasticus 29:14 >
        “Place thy treasure in the commandments of the most High, and it shall bring thee more profit than gold.”

        Catholic writing of St. Matthew 9:36 >
        “And seeing the multitudes, he had compassion on them: because they were distressed, and lying like sheep that have no shepherd.”

        – – – – –
        The Old Testament reference … discarded from the falsified heretic “bibles” is …

        Catholic Faith (pre-fulfillment) writing of Judith 11:15 >
        “And thou shalt have all the people of Israel, as sheep that have no shepherd.”

        Catholic writing of Ephesians 6:14 >
        “Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of justice.”

        – – – – –
        The Old Testament reference … discarded from the falsified heretic “bibles” is …

        Catholic Faith (pre-fulfillment) writing of Wisdom 5:19 >
        “He will put on justice as a breastplate, and will take true judgment instead of a helmet.”

        Catholic writing of Ephesians 1:17 >
        “That the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give unto you the spirit of wisdom and of revelation, in the knowledge of him.”

        – – – – –
        The Old Testament reference … discarded from the falsified heretic “bibles” is …

        Catholic Faith (pre-fulfillment) writing of Wisdom 7:7 >
        “Wherefore I wished, and understanding was given me: and I called upon God, and the spirit of wisdom came upon me.”

        Catholic writing of St. Matthew 7:16 >
        “By their fruits you shall know them. Do men gather grapes of thorns, or figs of thistles?”

        – – – – –
        The Old Testament reference … discarded from the falsified heretic “bibles” is …

        Catholic Faith (pre-fulfillment) writing of Ecclesiasticus 27:7 >
        “Be the dressing of a tree sheweth the fruit thereof, so a word out of the thought of the heart of man.”

        Catholic writing of Romans 9:21 >
        “Or hath not the potter power over the clay, of the same lump, to make one vessel unto honour, and another unto dishonour?”

        – – – – –
        The Old Testament reference … discarded from the falsified heretic “bibles” is …

        Catholic Faith (pre-fulfillment) writing of Wisdom 15:7 >
        “The potter also tempering soft earth, with labour fashioneth every vessel for our service, and of the same clay he maketh both vessels that are for clean uses, and likewise such as serve to the contrary.”

        Catholic writing of Apocalypse 1:4 >
        “Grace be unto you and peace from him that is, and that was, and that is to come, and from the seven spirits which are before His throne.”

        – – – – –
        The Old Testament reference … discarded from the falsified heretic “bibles” is …

        Catholic Faith (pre-fulfillment) writing of Tobias 12:15 >
        “For I am the angel Raphael, one of the seven, who stand before the Lord.”

        Catholic writing of St. Matthew 7:12 >
        “All things therefore whatsoever you would that men should do to you, do you also to them.”

        – – – – –
        The Old Testament reference … discarded from the falsified heretic “bibles” is …

        Catholic Faith (pre-fulfillment) writing of Tobias 4:16 >
        “See thou never do to another what thou wouldst hate to have done to thee by another.”

        Catholic writing of St. Matthew 11:25 >
        “At that time Jesus answered and said: I confess to thee, O Father, Lord of heaven and earth.”

        – – – – –
        The Old Testament reference … discarded from the falsified heretic “bibles” is …

        Catholic Faith (pre-fulfillment) writing of Judith 6:15 >
        “Saying: O Lord God of heaven and earth, behold their pride, and look on our low condition, and have regard to the face of thy saints.”

        Catholic writing of 2 Timothy 4:8 >
        “As to the rest, there is laid up for me a crown of justice, which the Lord the just judge will render to me in that day.”

        – – – – –
        The Old Testament reference … discarded from the falsified heretic “bibles” is …

        Catholic Faith (pre-fulfillment) writing of Wisdom 5:17 >
        “Therefore shall they receive a kingdom of glory, and a crown of beauty at the hand of the Lord.”

        Catholic writings of:
        Saint Matthew 22:25 > “Now there were with us seven brethren: and the first having married a wife, died; and not having issue, left his wife to his brother.”

        Saint Mark 12:20 > “Now there were seven brethren; and the first took a wife, and died leaving no issue.”

        Saint Luke 20:29 > “There were therefore seven brethren: and the first took a wife, and died without children.”

        – – – – –
        The Old Testament reference … discarded from the falsified heretic “bibles” is …

        Catholic Faith (pre-fulfillment) writing of Tobias 3:8 > “Because she had been given to seven husbands, and a devil named Asmodeus had killed them.”

        Catholic Faith (pre-fulfillment) writing of Tobias 7:11 > “Now when Raguel heard this he was afraid, knowing what had happened to those seven husbands.”

        Note: St. Matthew, St. Mark, and St. Luke verify the canonicity of Tobias by their references to Tobias Chapters 3 and 7 … so how can the heretics possibly reject this book? Because they’re heretics.



    * * *

  10. Dr. Boli says:

    Since Mr. Bizzaro is obviously a gentleman who engages in polite debate, it is only fair that Dr. Boli should state his own opinions politely and succinctly. He knows he will not change the mind of his correspondent, who has spent so many years accumulating such mountains of proof for his position. But perhaps a tiny mustard seed might be planted in his heart.

    Jesus Christ said that the whole of the law and the prophets could be found in these two statements: “Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with thy whole heart, and with thy whole soul, and with thy whole mind. This is the greatest and the first commandment. And the second is like to this: Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. On these two commandments dependeth the whole law and the prophets.” (Matthew 22:37-40, as translated in the pre-Vatican-II Douay-Rheims version.) As the very wise (though, by Mr. Bizzaro’s theology, damned) Rabbi Hillel said, “Whatever you don’t like, don’t do it to your neighbor. That’s the whole Law. The rest is commentary, so go study it.” (This is Dr. Boli’s own paraphrase, but a reasonably accurate one.)

    As a Christian, do you believe that Christ came to pile even more rules on us than the Law of Israel provided, with the penalty of automatic damnation for even speaking the wrong form of words? Do you believe that he deliberately set traps to kill the straying sheep? Or do you believe that “There is now therefore no condemnation to them that are in Christ Jesus, who walk not according to the flesh”? Do you believe that “my yoke is sweet and my burden light”?

    Dr. Boli imagines, Mr. Bizzaro, that when you die (which he hopes is a long time away, so that you may have a long and fruitful life here to prepare for your eternal destination), you will be welcomed with open arms in heaven, even if you have been mistaken in some of the details about who else might be welcomed there. But he can also imagine Jesus having just one question for his old friend Mike: “Can you bear to stay in heaven surrounded by all these people you condemned to hell? The choice is yours. If you can live with them as neighbors, then stay and be happy for eternity. If you cannot, it will make me very sad, but only you can make the choice. As you must know, free will is one of the cornerstones of Catholic dogma.”

    • Mike Bizzaro says:

      Albertus –

      You’re incorrect on Old Testament times justification of souls … there are O/T persons in Heaven.

      God’s Catholic Church never said that Old Testament persons are all in Hell.

      During Old Testament times … there were TWO sections of Hell.

      Section of Hell 1 – was Abraham’s bosom, sometimes called Limbo.

      Section of Hell 2 – the Hell of the damned.

      Those who were justified in Old Testament times are in fact in Heaven … after the Catholic Jesus Christ re-opened Heaven at the first Pentecost in 33 A.D.

      Those that were in the Hell of the damned … are still there and will be there forever … for as long as God shall be God.

      – – – – –

      To be in a Justified state … in Old Testament times you had to …

      1. Live according to law written on your heart … including of course the Ten Commandments.

      2. Believe in the arrival of the future Messiah.

      I cover this cover these facts … on Section 138 of the site >

      – – – – –

      On keeping to law written on your heart (much more on Sub-part A of Section 138 …

      Catholic Faith (pre-fulfillment) writing of Ecclesiasticus 24:44, 46, 47 >
      44: “For I make doctrine to shine forth to all as the morning light, and I will declare it afar off.”
      46: “I will yet pour out doctrine as prophecy, and will leave it to them that seek wisdom, and will not cease to instruct their offspring even to the holy age.”
      47: “See ye that I have not laboured for myself only, but for all that seek out the truth.”

      ~ ~ ~ ~

      Catholic Faith (pre-fulfillment) writing of Job 33:28-30 >
      28: “He hath delivered his soul from going into destruction, that it may live and see the light.”
      29: “Behold, all these things God worketh three times within every one.”
      30: “That he may withdraw their souls from corruption, and enlighten them with the light of the living.”

      ~ ~ ~ ~

      Catholic Faith (pre-fulfillment) writing of Isaias 11:9 >
      “For the earth is filled with the knowledge of the Lord, as the covering waters of the sea.”

      Etc., etc., etc. …

      – – – – –

      On believing in the future Messiah (the Catholic Jesus Christ, the heretic ones don’t exist) …

      Much more like the below on Sub-part B of Section 138 …

      Catholic Faith (pre-fulfillment) writing of Job 19:25 >
      “For I know that my Redeemer liveth, and in the last day I shall rise out of the earth.”

      ~ ~ ~ ~

      Catholic Faith (pre-fulfillment) writing of Isaias 49:26 >
      “And all flesh shall know, that I am the Lord that save thee, and thy Redeemer.”

      ~ ~ ~ ~

      Catholic Faith (pre-fulfillment) writing of 2 Kings 23:1-2 >
      1: “Now these are David’ s last words. David the son of Isai said: The man to whom it was appointed concerning the Christ of the God of Jacob, the excellent psalmist of Israel said.”
      2: “The spirit of the Lord hath spoken by me and his word by my tongue.”

      ~ ~ ~ ~

      Catholic Faith (pre-fulfillment) writing of Sophonius 3:8 >
      “Expect Me, saith the Lord, in the day of My resurrection that is to come … to assemble the Gentiles, and to gather the kingdoms.”

      ~ ~ ~ ~

      Catholic Faith (pre-fulfillment) writing of Isaias 59:20 >
      “And there shall come a, Redeemer to Sion, and to them that return from iniquity in Jacob, saith the Lord.”

      Etc., etc., etc …

      NOW .. WHY all the talk about the Redeemer during Old Testament times … if the Redemption (the re-opening of Heaven) didn’t apply to Old Testament persons ? ?

      Because the Redemption did apply to O/T persons, that’s why.

      Make sense ? Good.

  11. Mike Bizzaro says:

    Albertus –

    You are correct … in the running of the numbers … virtually no one is getting to Heaven.

    You actually agree with God on this issue.

    I provide 95 (NINTY-FIVE) citations on Sections 22 and 22.1 of the site … that virtually everyone descends into Hell when God takes their souls out of their bodies.

    At the end of the world … bodies re-combine with the souls, wherever the souls are.

    Here’s some …

    Catholic writing of Romans 9:27 >
    “If the number … be as the sand of the sea, a remnant shall be saved.”

    Catholic Faith (pre-fulfillment) writing of Isaias 10:22
    “For if thy people, O Israel, shall be as the sand of the sea, a remnant of them shall be converted.”

    Catholic Faith (pre-fulfillment) writing of 4 Kings 19:31 >
    “For out of Jerusalem shall go forth a remnant, and that which shall be saved out of mount Sion.”

    Catholic Faith (pre-fulfillment) writing of Isaias 10:19 >
    “They shall be so few that they shall easily be counted, and a child shall write them down.”

    Catholic Faith (pre-fulfillment) writing of Isaias 17:5-6 >
    “And it shall be as when one gathereth in the harvest that which remaineth

    Blessed Louis Marie de Montfort, died 1716 A.D. >
    “The number of the Elect is so small, so small that, were we to know how small it is, we would faint away with grief. One here and there, scattered up and down the world.”

    Saint John Chrysostom, Doctor of the Church, died 407 A.D. >
    “What do you think? How many of the inhabitants of this city (Antioch) may perhaps be saved? Out of this thickly-populated city, not one hundred people will be saved. I doubt whether there will even be as many as that.”

    Saint Alphonsus Maria Liguori, Doctor of the Church, died 1787 A.D. >
    “Scarcely anyone is saved.”

    Saint Augustine, Doctor of the Church, died 430 A.D. >
    “It is certain that few are saved.”

    Saint Philip Neri, died 1595 A.D. >
    “So vast a number of miserable souls perish, and so comparatively few are saved.”

    Blessed John Marie Vianney, died 1859 A.D. >
    “The number of the saved is as few as the number of grapes left after the pickers have passed.”

    Saint Leonard of Port Maurice, died 1751 A.D. >
    “O abyss of the judgments of God! Out of thirty thousand, only five were saved! And out of sixty thousand, only three went to Heaven! You sinners who are listening to me, in what category will you be numbered? … What do you say? … What do you think?”

    Saint Benedict Joseph Labre, died 1783 A.D. >
    “I was watching souls going down into the abyss as thick and fast as snowflakes falling in the winter mist.”

  1. […] there was the question of the cranky Web site that proves, beyond all possibility of doubt, or even of reading to the end of the argument, that […]

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *