Special Christmas Number.

Little Drummer Boy. — The man who wrote “The Little Drummer Boy” was a raving atheist who had vowed revenge on all of Christian culture.

Neckties. — It is estimated that four hundred twenty million neckties will change hands today. Four hundred fifteen million of them will change hands again next year.

Santa Claus. — In Australia and other countries of the Southern Hemisphere, owing to the Coriolis Effect, Santa Claus comes up the chimney and leaves the presents on the roof.

Tchaikovsky. — Tchaikovsky was under the impression that he was writing an advertising jingle for the Imperial Nutcracker Company of Nizhny Novgorod. He had to make hurried revisions when he discovered that there would be people dancing to his music.

Wise Men. — A fourth king from the east brought the infant King a fruitcake, but theologians have steadfastly denied him the title of “wise man.”