Why did the federal government choose homeopathy for its economic stimulus package?
Your government, dedicated to serving you efficiently as always, looked for the largest effect from the smallest intervention. Our experts considered two avenues, namely voodoo and homeopathy; but while voodoo had the more plausible mechanism, it was determined that homeopathy was more economically feasible.
How does it work?
A charge of one mill has been added to the annual income-tax calculation of every American taxpayer. This infinitesimal subtraction will cause a tsunami of prosperity to roll back in the other direction.
How do I pay the one-mill charge?
The payment is not due until the charges have accumulated to the amount of one dollar. You will receive a bill one thousand years from yesterday.
Why is the President’s name microprinted on every stimulus notice in type visible only under a microscope?
Your government’s homeopathic experts determined that homeopathic doses of the President would assure continued good governance.