Hephaestus, by our staff artist.

Hold on to your homburgs, because Dr. Boli is unveiling a new technology that shows us what the ancients actually looked like—and not just any ancients, but the Olympian gods themselves. This is a discovery that would have been impossible but for the most advanced neural network on the planet. The way it works is this: we show our staff artist a statue by some classical sculptor. Our artist then uses the advanced neural network contained within his skull to imagine what the subject would have looked like as a living person, and he quickly and lazily sketches it the way he would sketch an actual living subject. The result is as you see above: the Greek god Hephaestus as he actually would have looked if a lazy and underpaid sketch artist from the twenty-first century had been there to capture his likeness.

Obviously we cannot afford to allow this technology to fall into the wrong hands. But, since the wrong hands probably have little interest in it, Dr. Boli is not losing much sleep at the moment.