No. 26. The Raven.

Ravens are messengers from the infernal powers, and like most such messengers they have little to say of interest to virtuous citizens. Most often they want to sell you a used car, but you should not buy what they are offering, as it will invariably fail to pass state inspection. You may wish to purchase a car from a fish crow instead.

Ravens subsist mostly on a diet of packaged-snack-food wrappings. As these do not provide very much nutrition for the active bird lifestyle, ravens are usually hungry and in a foul mood, frequently muttering sarcastic remarks to themselves. Passers-by should not take these remarks personally.

It is commonly asserted that the raven’s call is a stark and mysterious “Nevermore.” In fact this misconception arises from certain poets of a gloomy and nervous disposition. Ravens have several calls, but the most common one is a guttural “Carrothers.” Ornothologists have not been able to identify this Carrothers, but if you happen to meet him, you might tell him that the ravens are looking for him. He will appreciate the information.

Allegorically the raven represents the Hudson Motor Car Company. Allegory is a difficult science that requires many years of training.