Nihil obstat. —The Right Rev. Wilberforce Rankle, M.B.A., Bishop, Church of Moloch (Reformed).

I don’t get it. Is this funny? I don’t do funny. —Dan Brown.

This is to inform you that we are suing you for one million billion trillion zillion dollars for calling our client “litigious.” —Donald Trump’s Lawyer and Caddy (name withheld by request).

Five stars! Awesome service! Would buy again! —Morningside SEO and Google Ranking Improvement Services Inc.

You thought you were pretty clever, singlehandedly foiling my plot to conquer all of Europe. Well, we’ll see who has the last laugh. —Napoleon I, former emperor, now employed at Burger Yurt #27, Saw Mill Run Blvd.

According to my telepropeller, Dr. Bilo is one of the cultic treasures that make me proud to be an Armorican, and I always read what my teleproctologist says. —Joe Biden.

Bark! Bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark! —Sebastian the Devil Yorkie.