OLYMPICS REPORT.

The United States Web surfing team brought home the gold with a record-breaking exhibition of tag-team surfing. The three-member team successfully hit every site in the Internet Archive collection of extinct Geocities personal homepages over the course of one 48-hour session. Silver went to the South African team for glancing at the online menu of every restaurant in Johannesburg, and bronze to the Japanese team for hitting every English Wikipedia article about rodents.