MASK EXEMPTIONS.

Wherever face masks are required, don’t forget to take advantage of these mask exemptions.

1. The Cell-Phone Exemption. When I’m talking on the cell phone, I have to lower the mask so that the recipient of my call can hear me shouting.

2. The I’m-Talking-to-You Exemption. When I’m talking to you, it’s necessary for me to lower my mask so you can read my lips. It’s also necessary for me to lean close to you so you can hear me.

3. The Nose Exemption. It’s all right to cover my mouth, but I breathe through my nose.

4. The Pro-Forma Chin-Mask Exemption. As long as I have the mask on my chin, I’m technically “wearing” a mask.

5. The Belligerent-Jackass Exemption. I don’t have to wear a mask in your establishment unless you can demonstrate that you can be more of a jerk about it than I can be.

6. The Bad-Cough Exemption. I have a bad cough for some reason, and I can’t cough right with the mask on.