It’s Your Get-Out-of-Jail-Free Card!
When the American Police Officers’ Benevolent Asso-ciation calls, do you hang up on us without making a donation?
Well, guess what. We’re police officers. We can run your telephone number through every law-enforce-ment database on earth. We know what car you drive. We know where you live. We know when your face shows up on a security camera.
Feeling a little nervous? Hey, it’s okay. Everybody makes mistakes. Just write a little check right now, while you’re thinking about it, and we’ll be happy to put you on our Do-Not-Arrest list. Think of it as a little insurance from the brave officers dedicated to your protection.


  1. Big Brother says:

    I’ve often wondered recently how much overlap there is in the Venn Diagram of “People who put thin-blue-line bumper stickers on their cars because they think it will make Cops not pull them over for speeding” on the one hand, and “Business owners and managers who put BLACK LIVES MATTTER WE STAND WITH YOU” signs on their stores in hopes that mobs of protesters won’t burn them down,” on the other.

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