Practice the seven aesthetic works of mercy and make the world a safer place for persons with sensitive artistic temperaments:

1. Turning off the television.
2. Unplugging and removing the amplification system from a concert hall.
3. Correcting backwards apostrophes at the beginnings of words in signs and advertisements.
4. Reeducating practitioners of “contemporary Christian music.”
5. Teaching writers of popular lyrics the principles of rhyme.
6. Using a fast shutter to capture a waterfall, in defiance of the motion-blurring convention of every inspirational poster in the dentist’s office.
7. Teaching an art student to draw.