The Department of Aesthetic Protection has issued a code ORANGE Television Quality Alert for North America for Wednesday, March 16, and the remainder of the decade. A code ORANGE television quality alert means that poor writing, bad acting, general pretentiousness, and lowestcommondenominatorism may make television unhealthy for sensitive groups. Sensitive groups include children, the elderly, and people suffering from aesthetic sensitivity or higher education. The effects of television pollution can be minimized by turning off the set and reading a book.

The Department of Aesthetic Protection has also issued a code ORANGE Literary Fiction Alert.