We were privileged to find a Microsoft technician who was happy to answer some of the questions users frequently ask about the Windows operating system.

Q. I’ve been getting the Blue Screen of Death more often since I upgraded to Windows 11. Is there any way to make that less likely to happen in the future?

A. No.

Q. Windows updates often break features or functions of important software on my computer. Is there an easy way to prevent Windows from updating itself?

A. No.

Q. Is there a good way to transfer large folders of files from my Windows computer to my Android phone?

A. No.

Q. Sometimes Windows loses track of my desktop wallpaper and substitutes the wallpaper from a different desktop. Is there any way to prevent that from happening?

A. No.

Q. Windows always gets slower and slower over the course of a year or so until eventually it has to be reinstalled. Is there any way to keep Windows running efficiently without bogging down like that?

A. No.

Q. I set my computer to suspend after ten minutes, but Windows often ignores that setting, and, come to think of it, a lot of other settings I set. Am I doing something wrong?

A. No. Here in Redmond, we refer to the “Settings” app as the “Suggestion Box.”

Q. There’s this feature in the current version of Windows that’s really useful to me. Will it still be available after the next Windows update?

A. Is it something you really like a lot?

Q. Yes.

A. Is it something you’ve grown to depend on because it makes your life so much easier?

Q. Yes, that’s it exactly.

A. Then no.


  1. RepubAnon says:

    There’s an old joke:

    Some people were taking a tour of the Seattle area in a blimp. Alas, the fog rolled in, so they couldn’t see anything.

    Just then, a sudden electrical issue shut down the blimp’s navigation systems, so all they had left was a compass. However, for the compass to help, they needed to know their current location.

    The captain brought the blimp lower and lower to look for a landmark. Suddenly, a building appeared through the fog, and they could see a man standing on the building’s roof.

    The captain opened a window, and yelled “We’re lost – where are we?”

    The man replied: “You’re in a blimp.”

    The captain thanked the man, consulted his map, and put the blimp on a course that quickly took them to their destination.

    One of the passengers said: “How did you know what course to set?”

    The captain replied: “The man gave us information that was both technically accurate and completely useless, so I knew we were directly over Microsoft headquarters.


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