TEST YOUR MARKETING ACUMEN.

Are you a born marketer? Take this quick quiz to test your instinct for marketing.

Q. For years your company has marketed a 15-ounce bottle of shampoo with a big banner on the label:

BONUS! 50% MORE! (vs. 10 oz.)

Now your accounting department has declared that, to meet the same price point, the quantity must be reduced to 12 ounces. What should the banner on the label say?

A. BONUS! 50% MORE! (vs. 8 oz.)

Q. Your laboratory has discovered that the latest batch of your Froot Festival brand noncarbonated soft drink contains up to 1,000 parts per million of a certain highly toxic chemical, a potentially lethal dose. Your vice president of marketing refuses to cancel the shipments to stores. What do you put on the label to warn potential consumers?

A. NOW! 99.9% TOXIN-FREE!

Q. Rats have got into your company’s warehouse and have chewed their way into hundreds of boxes of Wheat Shards brand cereal. The vice president tells you, “Just put some sticker or something on the boxes.” What should the sticker say?

A. FREE cat toy in specially chewed boxes!

Q. For years the CFO has been skimming 12% off the top whenever money comes in, and no one can stop him because he’s the CEO’s husband. You are now forced to raise your prices to compensate for his embezzlement. How do you spin that on the back of the box?

A. Help Us Find the Cure! 12% of every dollar you spend goes to research to find a cure for kleptomania.

HOW TO SCORE:

For every answer you got right, award yourself a million billion points. For every answer you got wrong, award yourself a million billion points.

Comments

  1. The Shadow says:

    If we executed everyone who scored a million billion points on this quiz, the world would be a better place.

  2. mikeski says:

    A born marketer would have four correct answers at a million billion points each. A marketing genius would award himself 50% more.

    Honest folk will score zero.

    Any other score implies an unthreatening level of innumeracy, or a jolly devil-may-care attitude about quizzes.

    So just execute the people in that 4-6 million billion range for the world’s betterment.

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