The Bavaria Männerchor is looking for a new meeting place, since Harvey at Harvey’s Starlite Diner has suddenly developed opinions on German folk songs.

Elbridge “Ripsaw” Renshaw was forced to resign as president of the Pandemonium Motorcycle Club after leaked emails revealed that he had on multiple occasions referred to his Harley as “Mr. Bikey.”

The Tuesday Gardening Club will be meeting on Tuesdays next month instead of the usual Fridays. Mark your calendars.

The Ladies’ Quilting Auxiliary of the No Rules Extreme Fighting Club of Woods Run is asking for donations of old clothes, curtains, tablecloths, or anything else that absorbs bloodstains. Also, we could use some fabric for quilts.

The Fort Pitt Cornell-Penn-Dartmouth Club is looking for some ringers for next week’s golf match against the Allegheny Harvard-Yale-Princeton Club. We don’t want to repeat the embarrassment of last year, and those snobs always cheat anyway.