Apostrophe’s! We have too many of the thing’s! For the next seven day’s, all apostrophe’s are 10 cent’s a dozen! Hurry on down to any of our location’s during normal business hour’s! Bobs Greengrocer’s Store’s Inc.—“You Say ‘Tomatoes,’ I say ‘Tomato’s’ ”


  1. KevinT says:

    Thirty years ago, I would have found this amusing. However, given the “writing” I see posted and in print these days, it’s just sad. Sister Mary Algolagnia most certainly would apply her ruler to those found misusing the apostrophe.

  2. Fred says:

    People who misuse apostrophes deserve to go to he’ll

  3. von Hindenburg says:

    Well, that’s more’n a bit’ve a problem they’ve got there. I’d’ve rather not purchased any, but it’s imperative that thisn’t be allowed to continue.

    As an aside: Modern computer databases are a constant source of microagressions against people of Irish extraction and anyone else with a special character in their name. I always have to tell the person at the bank, pharmacy, etc to check with and without the apostrophe because you never know what systems permit it and which don’t. Worse yet are forms which require you to fill in your name exactly as it reads on official documents, but which inform you that you have used an ‘illegitimate’ character.

  4. von Hindenburg says:

    Isn’t that more’n a bit’va a problem? But, I amn’t shocked. I’ven’t seen so many apostrophes since O’Grady’s Pub held “Irishman’s Friends’ Designated Driver’s Half Price night”.

    As an aside: The modern computer database is a continuing source of microagressions against the Irish and anyone else with a non-alphabetic character in their name. Not only must you ask every teller, pharmacist, receptionist, and O’Reilly Auto Parts clerk to check your name with and without the apostrophe (because it’s different in every system), but you are often told (when filling out forms that require your exact legal name) that you have entered an ‘illegitimate’ character.

    • KevinT says:

      Does our esteemed von Hindenburg find an analogous problem, i.e. clerks capitalizing the ‘V’ instead of leaving it lower case? I believe that, in some Western European spelling conventions, the surname’s V is lower case only if it is preceded by Herr vH’s given name. When standalone, as in these blog comments, it should be capitalized.

      • Dr. Boli says:

        To be scrupulously correct, it should be written in Fraktur.

        To be rigorously correct, however, we should accept people’s names as the people themselves present them. The alternative is picking a fight with everyone named Ashlee or Britney.

  5. Belfry Bat says:

    What this sign needs is a smidge more ellipsis… and for a short time only, for the Low Low Price of 2½¢⁄dot… !!! ….

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