By Irving Vanderblock-Wheedle.

If I could visit ancient Hellas,
I’d have to look up all the fellas.
To learn what oratory means,
I’d make my way to Demosthenes.
For history, I’d take long rides
To hear the tales from Thucydides.
I’d walk through Athens’ seedy lanes
And trade jokes with Aristophanes.
And, since I’m calling on the greats,
For physick, I’d see Hippocrates.
The priests in their white clericals
Would lead us all to Pericles,
And I’d say, “If you plan to write us,
Address us care of Democritus.”
And, best of all, I’d learn to speak
Quite fluently in ancient Greek.


  1. Jane says:

    This will make me trend on Twitter. You snooze, you lose.

  2. KevinT says:

    And, guided by Dr. Boli,
    you could visit ancient Anatoli.

  3. The Shadow says:

    This was physically painful to read.

  4. Daniel says:

    I am indebted to Dr. Boli once again for his ongoing meditations on the mysteries of rhyme in English. One may wish refer to the learned and long-lived Doctor’s articles from 5 September 2014, 1 June 2022, and the news snippet from 5 July 2022 in which we read, “Rap-jazz fusion artist Felonious Thelonious busted a rhyme yesterday at the Greater Aspinwall Independence Day Art-O-Rama. He is listed in serious but stable condition at St. Margaret’s Hospital.”

  5. Belfry Bat says:

    Mr Wheedle has an invitation to ride with Theodore and William for a really spiffing excursion.

    • Belfry Bat says:

      Of course, there was a time when I wondered at never having heard the name “Penny Lope”; I’m sure almost all of us have fallen victim to the vicissitudes of transliterary orthography…

      And, on the other hand, what Irving does here in English is just what all the French do in French; because, why not; and take that!, Enry Iggins.

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