Officers were called to a domestic disturbance in the 2300 block of Boulevard Way this afternoon. Upon arrival, officers heard a loud argument in progress, in which the name of Hegel was repeatedly mentioned. Officers called for backup and surrounded the building, but did not attempt entry until the city philosophy squad had arrived. Two Duck Hollow University professors were taken into custody.


  1. The Shadow says:

    At least Hume wasn’t mentioned. That would require nuking the site from orbit.

  2. Occasional Correspondent says:

    Police should sponsor a no-questions-asked Hegel buyback to get these dangerous philosophies off the street.  Hegels can be street-modified to fully automatic and can be equipped with high-capacity magazines.  In street lingo, a Hegel modified this way is called a “Marx”.

    Hume, in contrast, is Hume-orous and is never in-Hume-ane — sort of by definition.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *