Fairy Tale, by Friedrich König

You have been selected by the National Dendroday Foundation as part of a representative sampling of Pennsylvania residents to participate in this year’s Pennsylvania Tree Survey. Please print this survey and circle your answers with a non-wood-based No. 2 pencil.

1. Are you now, or have you ever been, a tree?



Not sure

2. Does anyone in your household identify as a tree?



I don’t like to ask

3. Where do you stand on the utility-cable issue?

Right over there

Not under them, because there are birds

I do not see the point of utilities, because I am a tree

4. Which of these is Pennsylvania’s top priority?

Emerald ash borer

Chestnut blight


N. B. One of the answers above is wrong.

5. The penalty for bonsai should be…


Life in prison

Confiscation and exile

6. Do you think that, in general, residents of Pennsylvania care more about trees than people in the rest of the country?

Residents of Pennsylvania definitely care more about trees than they do about people in the rest of the country.

I don’t know, but they sure don’t care enough about trees.

Are you talking about the human residents of Pennsylvania? Because that makes a difference.

7. Can you identify the trees near your home?

Most of them

The ones to my left, but not the ones to my right

That one over there is Fred