1. Are you now, or have you ever been, a tree?
2. Does anyone in your household identify as a tree?
I don’t like to ask
3. Where do you stand on the utility-cable issue?
Right over there
Not under them, because there are birds
I do not see the point of utilities, because I am a tree
4. Which of these is Pennsylvania’s top priority?
Emerald ash borer
N. B. One of the answers above is wrong.
5. The penalty for bonsai should be…
Life in prison
Confiscation and exile
6. Do you think that, in general, residents of Pennsylvania care more about trees than people in the rest of the country?
Residents of Pennsylvania definitely care more about trees than they do about people in the rest of the country.
I don’t know, but they sure don’t care enough about trees.
Are you talking about the human residents of Pennsylvania? Because that makes a difference.
7. Can you identify the trees near your home?
Most of them
The ones to my left, but not the ones to my right
That one over there is Fred