Wanted: interpretive dancers to direct traffic in construction zones throughout the metropolitan area. Base rate $15/hour, plus bonus if you get hit by a drunk or texting driver. Apply in person, PennDOT District 11 Office. Bring own ballet slippers and hard hat.


  1. KevinT says:

    A fine idea! I picture a sort of rhythmic gymnastics, except using orange cones and handheld STOP signs in place of ribbons and hula hoops. The so-called “bonus” should really be covered by workman’s comp.

  2. David T says:

    I propose a mime-off. Mimes will be lightly, but securely, chained at the centers of busy interssections and encouraged to give their vey best imitations of policemen directing traffic. The winner will be the last mime standing. His prize? to speak the eulogy of all his friends before being shoveled into the pit.

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