In reference to the Andy Warhol Museum, our correspondent GP writes,

It’s not that big of a building. If we started a collection I bet we could buy ourselves a warehouse and make the NEW world’s largest museum dedicated to a single artist (probably Grant Wood, but I’m open to suggestions).

Dr. Boli has a suggestion. It is true that Marcel Duchamp is dead, but he shows us the way, and therefore the new world’s largest museum dedicated to a single artist should be dedicated to a living artist, but one who steals Duchamp’s shtick.

Duchamp’s “readymades” were objects found in the ordinary world, but given a title by Duchamp and exhibited as art. Obviously anybody literate enough to write a title, or articulate enough to dictate one to a secretary, can create this sort of art, though it would be helpful if our artist could have the kind of subtle and delicately ironical sense of humor Duchamp displayed when he exhibited a urinal with the title Fountain. (From Wikipedia: “Fountain was selected in 2004 as ‘the most influential artwork of the 20th century’ by 500 renowned artists and historians.” This explains the twentieth century.)

To do this again would obviously be stealing Duchamp’s shtick, but artists have been stealing each other’s shticks since the days of Phidias. There is an artistic incantation that makes everything all right: you simply say, “I am an artist of the school of Duchamp.

Now, see how easy this makes our project of building the world’s largest single-artist museum. All we have to do is buy some big warehouse at a sheriff’s sale with all the contents in place. Then we send our pet artist in to spend a week labeling everything with whatever titles strike the artist’s fancy. When the last plaque is in place, we open our museum to the public at $25 a head, and we have a unique tourist attraction that bumps the Andy Warhol Museum down to second—and with much less effort than it would take to gather a bunch of stuffy old paintings by Grant Wood.


  1. tom says:

    Nice idea, but what about the one thing that means most to museum directors: Gift Shop?

  2. KevinT says:

    My wife would like me to contribute the contents of our garage and backyard storage shed to the new readymades effort.

  3. The Shadow says:

    I am entirely in favor of this project, and will gladly be the artist for a suitable cut. Hint: ‘Exposure’ will not be sufficient. Unless that means you intend to expose me to Benjamins.

    • Dr. Boli says:

      It seems obvious that our artist must be allowed to live a showily extravagant lifestyle that will give the tabloids (Art Forum or October, for example) plenty of material for gossip columns. Not too extravagant, of course, since an artist too well compensated becomes a capitalist, and then we have a Thomas Kinkade on our hands. We can give our artist a studio and residence in a penthouse at the top of our warehouse, with unlimited grub from the museum café (where occasional appearances by the artist will be part of the mythos of the museum), and $250,000 a year to spend on frivolities. That should amount to about 10% of the gate receipts, assuming we displace the Andy Warhol Museum as the top single-artist attraction.

      Although it should be pointed out that, in Pittsburgh, we would also have to compete with the other big single-artist museum, Randyland.

  4. Belfry Bat says:

    To the extent that the Christian Faith is dead in England, I would submit that St. Paul’s, City of London, is already a Larger Museum to Christopher Wren. But that might not be quite fair. I’m sure there’s ARE still Christians in England, somewhere…

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