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Dr. Boli’s Celebrated Magazine.

Edited by H. Albertus Boli, LL.D.

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Hey, kids! Looking for a way to freak your parents right out? Why not try vaping? What is vaping? It’s a lot like smoking, except your parents don’t understand it. That alone will freak them out. And we’ll take care of the rest. Our repre-sentatives have been busy planting stories on television news and other things old people over 25 watch to tell them that vaping is causing our young people (that’s you!) to have genetic mu-tations or rickets or something. We have hired the most ineffectual lobbyists in the world to persuade your state legislators to make vaping illegal—a token effort that reaps rich rewards in publicity and freaks your parents out even more. Studies by scientists with letters after their names show that vaping is 96% effective at freaking parents out—more effective than any other single activity, including skydiving. And freaking out is good for parents. It develops their character and makes them feel needed. Stop by your local vape shop now and ask for our free booklet, “Building Strong Parental Character One Puff at a Time.”

October 23, 2024. Leave a comment.

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Table of Contents.

  • About Dr. Boli
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  • An Eclectic Library
    • I Wish I’d Said That
    • The Historical Spectator
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  • Father Pitt
    • Pittsburgh Cemeteries
    • Flora Pittsburghensis
    • The Mirrour of the World
    • Monochrome World
    • Two-Color World
    • Imaginary Color
  • Illustrations from Public-Domain Sources
  • Ink
  • Random Translations
  • The Lateral Cut

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